Close To Torah

In the third verse of Aishes Chayil (letter Gimel) the phraseology catches the reader’s attention: “She bestows good (upon her husband) and not bad, all of the days of her life.” If she is doing kindness for him, then obviously she is not doing bad for him. Why is the wording so redundant?

Two most relevant answers appear to me. Firstly, say a child is with his mother in a shopping market and he spots a candy. The child grabs it off the shelf and announces to his mother that he is taking it. She calmly explains to him that he cannot have it. He refuses to listen. She more didactically tells him to put it back explaining that it is not good for his teeth and that there are certain times that he can earn candy but this is not one of them. He cries and makes and entire scene saying that she is so mean and that she must hate him. She holds firm knowing that for so many reasons she cannot give in. Say this mother would have succumbed to the pressure and allowed her son to have the candy, would that have been a kindness or a disservice for the child? It would have looked like a kindness on the outside, but in truth it would not have been the right thing for the child. Hence, her strictness was really the ultimate favor and care. Sometimes, a wife may think about allowing her husband or children to have another dessert or give in to something that she feels will be unhealthy physically or spiritually, but that is not really kindness. She holds strong to make sure that her point and concerns are heard. The extra words, “and not bad” refer to the time that she must assert herself to ensure that only good things come to her family members.

Secondly, as an educator of young students, I have been faced numerous times with the sly student. He is average looking, but very intelligent and tries to hide all of his actions behind noble intentions. For example, he will talk in the middle of class and then justify this by saying that he was asking his classmate if he needed a drink because he looked sick. He will be caught in the middle of an intense fight and tell you that he was trying to make peace and became the victim. He is very convincing, but cannot fool you, the mature adult sees right past it. The problem is that he fools himself. He must learn to admit the background of his intentions. In life, when we interact with others, we have the opportunity to do kindness or to hide our actions and cover up for their evil roots. The Aishes Chayil is a beacon of truth through and through. The way that she bestows kindness is genuine and sincere. When she bestows kindness on her husband it is the real type, “V’Lo Rah”, with the deepest and most noble of intentions deep down as well.  All of the above listed traits and attributes of the Aishes Chayil emanate from a most beautiful and well-intended place.

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