Close To Torah

Rabbeinu Yonah (Sharei Teshuva 2:3) has made famous the concept that “just as the body is susceptible to illness, so too the soul has evil traits that must be eradicated from the body.” This is openly expressed by David in this psalm when he states (verse 5), “…heal my soul for I have sinned…” David was sad to be ill, but took the opportunity to make corrections in his spiritual world as a result of being woken up through his illness.

Lost Time

When one commits sins this often impedes spiritual growth and derails one from their focus of personal development. Chazal tell us that David was not allowed to build to Bais Hamikdash. They state that had David been the builder, the spiritual energy that he would have invested in it would not have allowed it to ever be destroyed. This would present a problem when the Jews would sin and be sent into exile as Hashem would be willing to destroy His own house so that He could spare His nation from extinction. Thus, David was only allowed to build the foundations and Shlomo completed the rest.

When David got ill he was unable to dedicate himself to foundation building. He was too sick to make the arrangements and did not want to pass them off to anyone else. David lamented that his illness which was brought on because of sins prevented him from fulfilling his life’s goal of starting the construction of the house of God. David recognized that his sins had prevented and delayed this. When he repented he was cured and was able to fulfill his life’s dream.

The Vilna Goan explained that when Chazal tell us that we are required to give a din and chesbon, judgment and calculation on our actions, these two accountings refer to two specific calculations. ‘Din, judgment’ refers to the actions that we took. Were our actions and speech positive or negative? Let us say that someone took the time to gossip or to indulge in some other inappropriate act, he will also have to give a ‘chesbon, accounting.’ This refers to the fact that had he used the time productively he could have accomplished great things. Hashem has put each of us in this world to use our time wisely and in the most constructive manner.

David’s Perspective

David thus recognized that when his sins caused him to be sick he was losing time from spiritual growth as well. Imagine if a king had a crown that was filled with beautiful diamonds and precious stones, but one gem was missing. Would someone just say, “It makes no difference, the crown is beautiful, who cares if one miniscule rock is missing?” David saw the value of every moment of his life. David saw life as the greatest opportunity to sing and get close to Hashem giving eternal value to every moment.

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