Close To Torah

 וידעתם כי אני ה’ אלקיכם המוציא אתכם מתחת סבלות מצרים (ו:ז).

“…you shall know that I am Hashem your God who took you out from the oppression of Egypt” (6:7).

There are amazing lessons to be learned from the Ten Plagues. I would like to note some fascinating points regarding them. One can learn how calculated and intricate all the actions of Hashem are.

A: War Tactic: Chazal (Tanchuma Bo [4]) tell us that the plagues were a deep pattern of military brilliance working to undermine Egypt’s resistance and pride.

B: Punishment: Additionally, the Makos were punishments brought upon the Egyptians as exact retribution for their equivalent abuses which they inflicted upon the Jews (Tanna D’Bey Eliyahu Rabbah [8]).

C: Delivery: Also, each plague came from specific elements and was carried out by a specific personality as part of the ultimate plan (Shemos Rabbah 12:4).

D: Damage: There are various opinions regarding the extent of each plague’s damage, whether it caused death, injury or only monetary loss. Here are some starting ideas for each of these.

1 -דם Blood:

A: First Hashem warned Egypt that He would wage war against them if they did not heed to His request to free the Jews. Hashem began His attack with the first stage of warfare. He cut off the water supply from the city.

B: The Egyptians realized that the Jews utilized the water as a Mikvah for the women and men. They wanted to prevent the sanctity and procreation of the nation and thus stopped them from doing this. So Hashem smote their water source as punishment. Throughout history, the gentile nations have sought to infiltrate the Jewish structure of purity. Indeed, this is one of the strong points of Klal Yisrael that keeps them holy; a breach in this holiness would be the start of their assimilation.

C: The first three Makos were brought through the conduit of Aharon as they emanated from the water and ground. Moshe had been saved by both of them and thus could not hit them to bring the Makos.

D: The Ohr HaChaim (Shemos 8:4) says that no one died during this plague. The Egyptians were able to buy drinking water from the Jews and were able to dig to find fresh water.

2 -צפרדע Frogs:

A: Next, Hashem brought loud and frightening noises into city to show the Egyptians that if they did not surrender and let the Jews free, much damage awaited them. This is the depth of what Chazal say that the croaking of the frogs was more painful than their actual presence. This shows that their main objective was to instill fear in the hearts of the  Egyptians.

B: The Egyptians tortured the Jews by forcing them to catch small rodents for their entertainment purposes and thus as punishment Hashem sent frogs to torment them.

C: This was brought by Aharon (as explained above).

D: Most commentators say that this plague brought death as the frogs entered into their bodies. However, this was not its primary goal. The goal was to instill great fear in the hearts of the Egyptians.

3 -כינים Lice:

A: The enemy did not heed to the warning, therefore, the artillerymen were brought in and “arrows” were shot at Egypt.

B: The Jews were forces to be dust sweepers throughout the land. They had to repeatedly clean houses and streets to remove the unending supply of dirt. The Egyptians never let them stop. It was a cruel and impossible job. So Hashem sent little lice and used all of the dirt of Egypt to create them and now they tormented the Egyptians.

C: This was brought by Aharon (as explained above).

D: Death was not inflicted by this plague, though much discomfort was present. It was only after this plague that the magicians confessed that Hashem was behind these great attacks as they were unable to duplicate this one.

4 -ערוב Mixed Beasts:

A: The war escalated and the first battalion of front line fighters penetrated the city.

B: The Egyptians enjoyed animal fighting sports and forced the Jews to catch all types of animals for them. It was a difficult and dangerous job. Correspondingly, Hashem brought animals to pain the Egyptians.

C: This was brought by Hashem.

D: The animals inflicted maiming and mortal wounds upon the people.

5 -דבר Pestilence:

A: Next, a plague was sent to infest their animals and weaken their army strength.

B: The Egyptians would force the Jews to shepherd their sheep far away from their homes and would keep them away from going home and building a family for as long as possible. Thus, Hashem killed every animal that a Jew had ever been forced to watch in order that the Egyptians would not have any animals left to force the Jews to care for (Those that heeded Moshe’s warning and brought their animals inside were spared from this loss.).

C: This plague was brought by Hashem.

D: Death hit their property and caused great monetary loss, but did not kill any of the people.

6 -שחין Boils:

A: After the Egyptians refused to surrender, Hashem intensified His tactic and burning tar was poured upon them to get them to give up.

B: The Egyptians abused the Jews by forcing them to constantly heat up water for their usage and to fetch cold water at any time that they desired it. Thus, Hashem brought boils upon them that were ultra sensitive to the touch of water, thereby preventing the Egyptians from demanding this service from the Jews.

C: This plague was unique in that it was the only one that was begun by Moshe, Aharon and Hashem together.

D: Most commentators explain that this was a terribly painful punishment but did not cause much actual death.

7 -ברד Hail:

A: Next, ballistic missiles were fired upon the city.

B: The Jews were forced to work in the orchards far away from their cities, planting large trees. The Egyptians forced them to stay there for unreasonably extended hours so that they would not be able to procreate at home. Hence, Hashem now destroyed every tree that a Jew was ever forced to plant.

C: This was brought by Moshe (who controlled the air).

D: There is a dispute in the commentators if only terrible pain or death as well was present here.

8 -ארבה Locust:

A: The ground troops invaded the entire country.

B: The Jews were forced to stay away from their homes all day tending to all of the agriculture which Egypt produced. Hashem thereby came and destroyed any product that the Egyptians had benefited from Jewish subservience, leaving the entire land, with the exclusion of the Jewish quarter of Goshen, desolate.

C: This was brought by Moshe.

D: Pharaoh  himself described that his people were ’scared to death’ over this attack, but it does not seem that any lives were lost here.

9 -חושך Darkness:

A: The King placed the rebels in jail.

B: After all of the miracles, there were Jews themselves who denied Hashem’s ability to extradite them. Anyone who at this point did not believe, lacked the merit to go out and thus perished. Hashem did not want the Egyptians to point to the event and claim that the plagues effected the Jews as well, so He left them in the dark from the entire occurrence. Chazal tell us that only one fifth of Klal Yisrael left Egypt. That means that at least (and probably significantly more) 2.4 million Jewish people died and were buried during this plague! How could the Egyptians not have notice that four fifths of the Jewish Nation were now missing? The answer is that the Egyptians were so shook up and oblivious to reality in their religious steadfastness to not give in, that they saw nothing around them!  

C: This was brought by Moshe.

D: In the last three days of intense darkness in which they could not move at all, it is reasonable to assume that many starved to death, a very painful and helpless way to perish.

10 -מכת בכורות Death of the Firstborns:

A: The last and final tactic would prevail. All of the leaders of the rebellion were executed and the Jews were finally freed.

B: Death was brought upon thousands of Egyptians as retribution for all of the Jews whom they had collectively murdered. 

C: This plague was carried out by Hashem Himself.

D: This final blow left the city with thousands dead. Every household lost at least the oldest member and many lost their entire family, including boys and girls. Any first born from either the mother or father, which was very common because of the Egyptian’s promiscuous acts, died. More so, the firstborns themselves waged a civil war against the rest of Egypt demanding that the Jews be freed so that they should not die in the plague, and they killed many. Thus, the entire Egypt became a graveyard. Finally after all of this, the Egyptians chased the Jews to the Yam Suf and lost all of their strong men there. The ten Makos brought a country which had been the world power to its knees. They never recovered from the blows and were forgotten from the international community of the time as they were conquered shortly after by another powerful country.

 Indeed, the Jews watched every single plague and saw how precisely and appropriately Hashem had paid the Egyptians back for their abuse of His Chosen Nation. The experience was very inspirational and instrumental in forging the foundation of the great Jewish Nation. May we all find inspiration as well through contemplating the great miracles which Hashem performed openly for us in Egypt and continues to do for us until this very day. May we achieve new insight and appreciation of Hashem’s constant kindness and love for us.

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah Passover, Pesach, Ten Makos, Ten Plagues

“ותאמר לו זרש אשתו וכל אהביו יעשו עץ גבוה חמשים אמה… וייטב הדבר לפני המן ויעש העץ” (אסתר ה:יד).

“Zeresh his wife and all of his loved ones told him, ‘let us build gallows (for hanging Mordechai)’, and the idea grabbed Haman and so he made the gallows” (Esther 5:14).

The simple reading of this verse reveals a fascinating observation worthy of our attention. At first, Haman’s family offered advice as to how to kill Mordechai and they stated that they would help him build (ya’asu, let us build) the hanging platform to carry it out. At the end, however, the verse states that Haman built it himself (va’yaas, he made)! What is the lesson here?!

One more question: Chazal (Gittin 57b) tell us, “descendants of Haman converted to Judaism and taught Torah in Bnei Brak”. What merit did Haman have to warrant this and what benefit could have been accrued from his traits?!

Let us sidetrack to a seemingly unrelated topic in order to fully develop the beauty contained here.

Where is the Leader?!

In the building of the Mishkan, one man was appointed to oversee and organize everything. His name was Betzalel ben Uri ben Chur. The perplexing point to note about this great arranger is that he was not called to the scene until everyone else had already arrived and committed themselves to doing all of the work?! Would it not have made more sense to have the master manager and architect stand there from the very beginning of the building project?! Why was he only summoned at the end?

Full Effort

R’ Moshe Feinstein zt”l provides a beautiful answer which reveals perhaps his own personal modus operandi which made him the great leader of our nation. He says that human nature dictates that when one thinks that someone else is in charge of getting a job done, he does not exert himself too much. He justifies to himself that others will take care of what has to get done and does not contribute according to his full effort. However, if one sees that he is the only one that can do the task, then he will dedicate himself to the job and even exhibit super-human strength to accomplish his goal.

Hashem wanted the Jews to each offer their all in the construction of the Mishkan. Thus, when they arrived on the scene, each one thought that it was solely up to him. If Betzalel would have been there already, this would have automatically downgraded each person’s feeling of responsibly. Thus, Hashem allowed for each person to dedicate himself fully to the job and only then did He appoint Betzalel as the manager.

Bystander-Effect

Studies have shown, that the less people that are around when someone in their proximity needs emergency help, the faster the onlookers respond to provide aid. If many people are present, each one just ignores the trouble and often help is not given until it is too late. This is known as the bystander-effect. A diffusion of responsibility takes place in each person’s head.

True Responsibility

The proper way to live life is to always see oneself as “the man” in a place where there are no other men to act! This way one will challenge himself to be the best that he can be! Reb Moshe Feinstein embodied this trait, always pushing himself to do more for Hashem and for Klal Yisrael, and never being satisfied to use others as an excuse for inaction.

Frogs of Egypt!

Let us develop this idea from one more source. The Gemara in Pesachim (53b) tells us that Chananya, Misha’el and Azaryah in Bavel deduced logically that they should allow themselves to be thrown into the furnace to stand up for Hashem’s honor. They said that, “the frogs in Egypt were not commanded to die for Kiddush Hashem, Hashem’s sake, yet they chose to jump into the ovens of the Egyptians for the sake of Hashem, kal v’chomer, certainly, we who are commanded in Kiddush Hashem must do the same! With this, they fell into the furnace, only to be miraculously saved by Hashem.

Wait A Minute!

The Shages Aryeh posed a bomb question on this famous Gemarah. The verse (Shemos 7:28) discussing the plague of frogs states explicitly that the frogs were commanded to jump into the ovens, thus indeed they had an order to do so, and the logic of the three sages is not understood!? How could they learn from the frogs based on the fact that the frogs “chose to die without a commandment”, when in fact they were clearly commanded to enter the stoves and die?!

Enter Little Eliyahu

The Vilna Goan (Rabbi Eliyahu Kramer [1720-97]), was seven years old at the time when this question was posed. He modestly approached the Shages Aryeh to offer his answer. The verse states that Hashem commanded the frogs to invade Egypt, they were to go everywhere. The list of targets included: houses, beds, mixing bowls and ovens. This being the case, each frog had a choice as to whether he should sacrifice his life or not. Many frogs just allowed their friends to go into the ovens while they simply infested a house or bed. Hence, only certain frogs took the responsibly upon themselves to give up their lives to fulfill Hashem’s command regarding the ovens. It was with this in mind that the three sages made their perfectly logical extension to themselves! Upon hearing this, the Shages Aryeh bent down and gave little Eliyahu a kiss on his cheek while exclaiming, “you will be a great sage of Israel one day!”

Our Leaders

This is the perspective of our great men in Klal Yisrael. They see what has to be done and they do not look around to see if anyone else is responding. Rather, they immediately take the entire job upon themselves and make sure that it gets done. They are proactive and thus most productive. They know what “responsibility” means.

Tying It All Together

This is how Haman acted, in the negative. He saw what had to be done. He did not want to defer for one moment on account of waiting for others. They had offered to assist him, but he could not delay! His evil zealousness pushed him to begin and finish the job himself that very night! He acted according to the motto, “if you want something done right and fast, do it yourself!” This is the simplest explanation of our opening verse.

Power For Torah

This trait when used for the right matters is the power of productivity. The leaders of our nation all possess a passion for building and accomplishment despite all adversity. It was this power of Haman, to jump to action, that was converted and channeled by his descendants who used the trait for building and spreading Torah for us. This is what Torah is all about, action and responsibility, towards Hashem and our fellow people.

The Lesson of Life

Chazal teach us that the primary descendant of Haman who channeled Haman’s traits into the Torah-world was Rav Shmuel Bar Shilas. It is appropriate and relevant to note that he was the most famous teacher of students throughout the entire Talmudic literature. The significance is that one of the most important lessons to teach children is that each person has a special and individual role in this large universe. One must undertake to bring out his full potential; to give his all for Hashem and society. Who is more fit to teach the lesson of responsibility than a descendant of Haman the Evil, who embodied this trait for his negative undertakings.

Effect On Torah

This is the exact reason that the Jews reaccepted the Torah at the time of Haman. They accepted the yoke of commitment which they understood was their job to fulfill. This is the entire theme of Purim. Our commitment and fortitude overcame Haman’s evil determination.

One who develops and uses this trait for proper causes will find tremendous success every day of his life and will be an inspiration to all!

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah Jewish Education, Mishkan, Responsibility, Torah Leader, Wisdom

בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה אֲדֹנָי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶֽךְ הָעוֹלָם עוֹשֶׂה מַעֲשֵׂה בְרֵאשִית. (ע’ ברכות (נט:) ושו”ע או”ח רכט:ב)

Blessed are You, Hashem our God, King of the universe, who makes the work of creation.

Mark your calendar! This upcoming Wednesday morning, the 14th of Nissan 5769 (Erev Pesach), April 8, 2009, you can take part in history! This opportunity comes only a few times in a lifetime! It is only the 207th time ever in the history of the world that this berachah can be made!

First, I would like to present a brief explanation as what Birchas HaChamah is all about, including general laws. Second, I would like to share one interesting thought on the topic.

Part 1: Laws

The Gemara (Berachos 59b) teaches that once every twenty-eight years the solar cycle begins again and the vernal (spring) equinox falls precisely in Saturn (the technical details of this formula are beyond the scope of this article, but suffice it to say that every one of the zodiac constellations rotate, and Saturn was the “ruling” force on the first hour of Wednesday when the sun was established.), on the evening of Tuesday (6 P.M.) leading into Wednesday. The sun is then located in the exact spot as it was when Hashem first created it on the fourth day of creation in relation to all of the stars, planets, time and day. Since the sun is not visible in all places during that hour of the evening, Chazal decreed that we should pronounce the blessing early the next morning. This is what we call Birchas HaChamah, the recognition of Hashem’s creation of the sun.

These brief laws are collected from many sources. Please consult your local Halachic authority for exact application of these laws.

1- Some announce this upcoming berachah the day before in Shul. One should remind his friends and family about this great and unique Mitzvah.

2- The blessing should be recited while standing, after glancing at the sun and does not have to be made while outside as long as one can see the sun from inside.

3- The blessing is made anytime from sunrise on Wednesday morning until the third hour of the day. It is best to do it immediately following davening.

4- If it is too cloudy to see the sun, one has until midday to pronounce the blessing. After that time however, it should be recited but without Shem u’Malchus: ברוך אתה עושה מעשה בראשית

(for example NYC sunrise is at 6:28 A.M. ; 3rd hour is at 9:43 A.M. ; Midday is at 12:58 P.M.).

5- Many chose to daven Vasikun in order to make the blessing as early as possible and go out with the entire congregation while still wearing their Tallis and Tefillin to pronounce the blessing together. A minyan is not necessary but is commendable if possible.

6- The blessing of Shechiyanu is not pronounced for various reasons.

7- Woman too recite this berachah with Shem u’Malchus.

8- Children at the age of Chinuch recite this berachah with Shem u’Malchus.

9- There are many other prayers that people say before and after reciting this berachah (Click here for the text), though the most important words are the actual blessing!

May we all merit to make this blessing many more times together with all of our loved ones and may we merit to see the coming of Mashiach speedily!

Part 2: A Torah Perspective on Birchas HaChamah

Bringing Hashem Into The Picture

There are two questions that come to mind regarding Birchas HaChamah:

1- What is the significance of the fact that the solar cycle lasts for 28 years? It cannot simply be a coincidental number?

2- Why did Hashem create the sun specifically in the time when Shabsai, Saturn, was ruling, would it not have been more appropriate to create the sun and let the sun rule the sky immediately?! More so, astronomically, according to Chazal’s list of the seven bodies in the sky, Saturn is the furthest away from the sun! (Uranus and Neptune (and Pluto) are not discussed by Chazal because they cannot be seen by the naked eye and thus exert no influence upon us and are thereby irrelevant to Chazal’s discussions of the celestial bodies.)

Here is what I think we can learn from all of this:

The number twenty-eight immediately reminds us of Koheles (Chapter 3). Shlomo HaMelech enumerates twenty-eight varied human actions and emotions that fill the average lifetime. A time for… birth, death, laughter, crying, building, dismantling, love, hate, war and peace, etc. The complete gamut of life stages. But what is it all worth?! Shlomo himself states that it is all futile! His conclusion is that only a life imbued with spirituality and connection to Hashem has any value. Otherwise, all of these fleeting moments and experiences have no intrinsic value what-so-ever!

Chazal (Shabbos 156a) tell us that one born under the mazel, zodiac influence, of the sun will have material wealth. The sun represents material comfort and pleasure. Our challenge is to not get distracted by it, but rather to utilize it for the service of Hashem. This is the ultimate goal.

The world is a monotonous cycle that continues; our job is to sanctify our experiences. Indeed, “there is nothing new under the sun” (Koheles 1:9)! The Jews count their days according to the moon. The moon represents humility, subjugation and constant refreshing. Our lives revolve around subservience to Hashem and are thus meaningful and fulfilled. Now we understand why the cycle is twenty-eight years. It represents the collective physical world. And now we can move on to understand the significance of pronouncing a berachah upon it.

When we pronounce a blessing upon something, we uplift it. When one eats a delicious meal, it may appear that he is doing so solely for his own pleasure. The pleasure is then ephemeral and fleeting. However, when one recites a berachah, he thus brings Hashem into the picture. He is thanking Hashem and elevating the experience. The food has now been transformed into a Mitzvah and thus eternity! The mundane has become valuable!

In this vein, we go outside and look at the sun. We realize that it represents the earthly world and physicality. We then proclaim a berachah upon it, signifying that we commit ourselves to sanctify Hashem and desire ever so passionately to imbue our lives with holiness and growth. This is our power as Jews. We can make a berachah (bring holiness) on the sun (the mundane world)!

Why was the sun established while Saturn ruled the sky? The Gemara (Shabbos 156a) teaches us that one born during the rule of Saturn will have many earthly evil thoughts! This explains why the sun was created under its rule. It represents Olam HaZeh, the present temporal world. This is the most appropriate time for its creation. Our job is to elevate and uplift ourselves by going against our earthly desires.

This is the significance of the Kaddish prayer as well. We honor the dead by pronouncing Kaddish for them. When ten men answer the mourner’s prayer, the soul of the deceased is uplifted. The entire theme of Kaddish is to elevate the physical world to recognize Hashem’s rule. It comes as no surprise then that the climax of Kaddish (from the words “Yehey Shmay Rabba Mivarach, may His Great Name be Blessed” until “B’almah.”) is comprised of precisely twenty-eight words! This is to show that we wish to elevate the world by bringing Hashem into every facet of our daily existence. Also, Kabbalistically, the four letter name  of Hashem when spelled out, extrapolating every letter, contains exactly twenty-eight letters! This is the theme of Kaddish, bringing out Hashem’s name.

([י=] יו”ד וא”ו דל”ת, [ה=] ה”א אל”ף, [ו=] וא”ו אל”ף וא”ו, [ה=] ה”א אל”ף)

Indeed, we see just how precious life is. We constantly have opportunities to elevate the physical world to great spiritual heights. This is what our blessing upon the sun is stating. We wish to imbue our life with spirituality!

May the lesson of Birchas HaChamah touch our hearts and inspire us to live our lives connected to Hashem, bringing us true happiness!

Click here for the complete text of Birchas HaChamah

(Left click to view; right click and “Save Target As / Save Link As” to download)

 Print

Halacha, Hashkafah, Machshuvah Avodas Hashem, Berachah, Birchas HaChamah, Kaddish, Kavod Shamayim, Solar Blessing

On Wednesday, April 8, 2009 (14 Nissan, 5769, Erev Pesach), the blessing and these additional prayers are recited anytime from sunrise until the third hour of the day. If it is too cloudy to see the sun, one has until midday to pronounce the blessing. After that time however, it should be recited, but only without Shem u’Malchus. See my article (Click here) for brief laws and an explanation of this special blessing.

Click here for the complete text for Birchas HaChamah

 Print

Halacha, Hashkafah, Machshuvah, Moadim / Tekufos Birchas HaChamah, Solar Blessing

אלה פקודי המשכן… (לח:כא).

“These are the accountings of the Mishkan…” (38:21).

We have four whole Parshiyos which all discuss the building of the Mishkan.

1- In Terumah we were given the blueprint for the Mishkan and all of its vessels.

2- Tetzaveh described the instructions for the making of the vestments of the Kohanim.

3- Vayakhel is the description of the actual building of the vessels, “and Bezalel made the Aron…. the Shulchan…. the Menorah”.

4- Pikuday discusses the making of the garments and a tally of all the material used.

Could not the precious Torah have conserved much space by simply stating what was done only once?! What is the message which the Torah is teaching us here?

There is an idea being expressed which is very pertinent to one wishing to properly grow in his service of Hashem. We begin every quest for growth toward Emes, truth, by first finding a blueprint with clear and simple instructions as to what we should be striving for. After this clarification, we extend all of our efforts to implement our knowledge into action. The two stages of growth therefore are:

1- knowledge

2- application, implementation.

Thus, the Torah here stresses the importance of both these aspects, expressing them in regards to the building of the Mishkan,

1- Terumah, Tetzaveh: establish the instructions clearly,

2- Vayakhel, Pikuday: are to do it!

But as we know well, it’s not that simple! A person can know much; he can intellectually understand where his strivings should be directed, but without implementing his knowledge, it is practically worthless! R’ Yisroel Salanter would ask his students, where do you find the largest space on earth between two objects? They would try suggesting all sorts of places, from Earth to the heavens etc., not understanding what he wanted from them. He would then teach them the lesson of life: The greatest distance in the world is the space between the brain and the heart! From the time that one knows something in his head until he actually acts upon it, can be an eternity!

The Torah hints to this as well. Between the first set of Parshiyos, those of the blueprint, and the second set, those of the action of building, comes an interrupting Parshah which many are bothered by how apparently out of place it is. Parshas Ki Sisa, which discusses the sin of the Golden Calf, is placed between the two, even though according to Rashi, chronologically, the sin of the Calf occurred before the Mishkan was ever commanded. What is going on here?

Based on our above stated principle, its placement is precise and well understood. It signifies that if one only has Terumah and Tetzaveh, i.e. the intellectual instructions for success, but lacks Vayakhel and Pikuday, i.e. the carrying out of those ideas in action, then he is still capable of Ki Sisa, the Golden calf, the most terrible sin! “The main thing is action, not (intellectual) study” (Avos 1:17).

The Torah elaborates on the building of the Mishkan in two segments to teach us this great lesson. We all have plans for greatness and personal development. We must always remember that the desire to grow is very important, it serves as a useful map, but only when it is followed by action in congruence with the knowledge, can it be made real! May we all merit to live accordingly!

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah, Parshas Pekudei, Uncategorized Action

אשר לא תבוא ושתי לפני המלך אחשורוש ומלכותה יתן המלך לרעותה הטובה ממנה (אסתר א:יט).

“Vashti cannot appear again before the king and she will be replaced…” (Esther 1:19).

If I were to ask you: what happened to queen Vashti? You would respond of course that she was executed! Everyone knows that! Now please allow me to ask you one more simple question: can you please prove it?! How do you know that she was killed?

The Question

You will quote me the Gemara in Megillah (11b), the Midrashim (Ester Rabbah 5:2 etc.) or all of the commentators like Rashi (Esther 1:19), but one source will not be quoted… the text of the Megillah itself! Nowhere in the entire narrative of Megillas Esther is there any direct reference to Vashti’s death sentence! This is very surprising, especially considering that it is one of the most vital points in the entire story as it allowed Esther to be installed in the palace in her stead! What is going on here; why was it left out?

My Search

I spent a large part of this past Purim discussing this question with any person willing to lend me their ears. Most agreed that it is truly a most intriguing and perplexing observation.

At first I came up with one simple answer, which my Rosh HaYeshiva, Reb Aharon Feldman shlit”a also answered to me, after which I showed him a proof for the concept which he approved of. However, I feel that the answer is not enough and after I explain this answer I will tell you what bothers me about it and then I hope to offer what I feel is a stronger resolution, while expressing a central theme of Purim.

Purely Anticlimactic

Achasveyrosh planned that his extravagant party was to show his power and grandeur. For six months straight he flaunted his wealth and honor. The people were awed and impressed. Everything was going smoothly as hoped until a bitter confrontation with his wife occurred. His honor and power were then laughed at! All that he had worked for, was lost! Vashti refused to join the party in the degrading manner  which he demanded of her and she sent strong insulting words expressing her refusal to come. Achasveyrosh was fuming, his honor had been crushed and his hard earned prestige had been challenged. He was determined to restore his power. And so in a moment of rage and foolishness, following of an out-of-line and lowly advisor, he had his wife killed! This would show the world! Now they would see who was in charge!

The response? The people were outraged by this terrible act of brazenness! So strongly did they oppose this impulsive and savage act that Midrash Tehillim (22:26) states that the entire world which he had controlled until then, rebelled against him, gaining their independence and cutting off all ties with him! They would not tolerate such a harsh and insensitive dictator.

What happened after that is that eventually the act was forgiven and then forgotten and when Achashveyrosh appointed Eshter as his new queen, half of his kingdom returned. When Mordechai was made second-in-command the entire kingdom willingly came back under his hand.

The Simple Answer

Why was the killing of Vashti omitted from the text? Very simply, so as not to bring back memories of a brazen, inappropriate act which caused the king so much embarrassment and trouble.

This is the simplest understanding of the entire manner. However, as we have seen time and again, there are many layers of depth that must be uncovered behind the events contained in the Megillah. Thus, I felt that there must be an even deeper and relevant message waiting to be uncovered from all of this. What is that?

Probing Deeper

When one reads the entire story, it is clear to see how every piece fits in the puzzle. Every dot connects and every “natural occurrence” plays a vital role in the Jewish people’s collective salvation. Achashveyrosh made a party, he killed his wife, Esther entered the palace, Haman rose to power and wanted to kill us, Esther and Mordechai devised a plan to intercede on the Jew’s behalf, Haman ended up hanging on the gallows which he made for Mordechai and the Jews won the war!

The danger is that one can read the story and think that many lucky natural coincidences made everything come together in the benefit of the Jews. However, our job is to contemplate each event and see Hashem’s phenomenal and precise guiding Hand orchestrating every single event, down to the finest detail! We must savor how each “natural occurrence” was brought about by Divine providence and kindness, for our sake.

Hashem’s Hand

This I believe is the complete explanation as to why the Megillah perplexingly omits such a vital fact of the story. The very first “natural happening” that began the salvation of the Jews is the killing of Vashti. This allowed for Esther  to replace her and gave her the power to help us in our time of need. Thus, the Megillah purposely omits this opening link in the chain of events, in order to stress to us, that indeed we should not think that Achshveyrosh coincidentally killed his wife, rather we should acknowledge that Hashem killed her and it was precisely for our benefit! It is important to establish starting from the beginning of the amazing storyline that Hashem is the only One behind all of the events transpiring here! When we see this missing fact, we question why it is left out of the story. The answer is that Megillas Esther is not a story! It is a recounting of Hashem’s exact planning  and caring for us!

Hence, the absence of Vashti’s execution from the actual text, begs for us to rethink our approach to life. As faithful Jews we do not look at events as happenstance, rather they are brought by Hashem and at His whim!

Funny Plot

In fact, Chazal (Esther Rabbah 1:1) describe how ludicrous Achashveyrosh’s actions were. “He killed his wife (Vashti) upon the urging of his advisor (Haman) and he killed his advisor (Haman) upon the urging of his wife (Esther)!” How odd indeed!

The Alter of Kelm explains that this demonstration of “Vinahapoch, reversal”, shows that humans were not dictating the show, rather it was Hashem who was calling the shots. Hashem showed just how much He was controlling everything in an almost comical manifestation of contradictory actions according to what He wanted done. It is clear that He was running the show.

This is the entire greatness of our Nation. We strive to see and appreciate how Hashem is acting for our benefit every day.

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah Hashgachas Hashem, Vashti

בשלשה דברים אדם ניכר: בכוסו, ובכיסו, ובכעסו. ואמרי ליה אף בשחקו. (עירובין סה:)

“One’s true personality is measured through three things: how he deals with:

1-wine,

2-money,

3-anger.

Some add a forth item: laughter” (Eruvin 65b).

This Gemara is well known and quite cryptic. What is it trying to teach us? Much has been said on the matter. Let us illustrate the beauty of how this adage relates and defines the goal of our Purim celebration.

The Mishnah in Avos (4:21) tells us that there are three root destructive behaviors which prevent a person from enjoying this world. They are:

1- Ta’avah, lustful pursuit of pleasures,

2- Kinah, jealousy,

3- Kavod, desire for honor.

One who dedicates his life to these pursuits will never find happiness or fulfillment. On the flip side, one who is balanced and content in these three departments will live productively and happily. The real servant of Hashem trains himself to control his evil urges and to pursue truth and spirituality. The Torah teaches one how to do this.

There are three aspects of one’s life. They are:

1- His relationship with himself,

2- his relationship with others,

3- his relationship with Hashem.

Each has its own importance and specific dynamics.

The three destructive behaviors (pleasure, jealousy, honor) enumerated in Avos and the three personality yardsticks (wine, money, anger) quoted above, are tied together by the three departments of our relationships (self, others, God) in the following way:

1- One who drinks wine, very quickly loses himself. Thus, this corresponds to man’s intrapersonal relationship with himself, showing how he deals with his personal desires.

2- One’s wallet represents his business dealings. Thus, how honest he is in business shows where he is holding regarding his interpersonal relationships with others. Subsequently, if he is honest, he has controlled his jealousy.

3- One who is easily angered lacks proper belief in Hashem. The proof  is that he thinks that his actions are determining factors in his success and cannot bear to see anyone violate his plans! He demands honor and recognition for his own greatness. Hence, this anger corresponds to and gauges one’s relationship and connection to Hashem.  

These are the three departments, the full picture of a person’s life.

How do we then explain the opinion which adds a fourth component in sizing up a person (wine, wallet, anger, laughter) based upon his “laughter”? What does that signify, have we not already covered all of the categories?! The answer is that this is what brings everything together! Laughter represents enjoyment and fulfillment in what one does. Only one who lives life and develops himself in these three departments can truly find happiness. Only one who lives with Hashem and His Torah will achieve bliss and enjoyment.

In the time of Purim, the Jews were not serving Hashem properly, this prompted Hashem to send Haman to threaten to annihilate them. By repenting and coming back to Hashem this meant that they committed themselves to act properly in all three departments of their service. The result was their salvation and achievement of an exalted state of happiness in their Torah observance. They developed and honed their three relationship groups and even more so they achieved the fourth level of bliss and laughter from their application and commitment to Torah study. Thus, we see how these four elements (wine, wallet, anger, laughter) directly relate to Purim. Let’s examine this further.

We have four Mitzvos on Purim relating to these four things as well:

1- To overcome our lusts and desires, we have a party L’shem Shamayim, using food and drinks for the service of Hashem. In our minds we train ourselves to have self-control.

2- To overcome our selfish ego and jealousy, we open our wallets and perform Mishloach Manos, gifts to other people. This helps us articulate that the world does not revolve around us, rather we strive to relate and care for others as well.

3- Our pursuit of honor makes us reluctant to give charity to others, as we wish to remain rich and powerful ourselves. However, Hashem desires that we emulate His kindness and acknowledge that He runs the world. An angry person only gets enraged because he feels that he is the boss, and gets upset when someone violated his wishes. However, our job is to follow Hashem and realize that He makes the rules. To develop a deeper connection to Hashem, we emulate His kindness by giving Matanos La’Evyonim, donations to those in need of money!

4- The last and most important aspect of the day is the one which brings everything to life and provides the greatest laughter, happiness and fulfillment. This is learning and applying of Torah! Thus, hearing and internalizing the words of the holy Megillas Esther is the savoring of inspirational and joyous words of Torah! Now we have a complete understanding of our service on Purim and also our daily Avodas Hashem.

R’ Yissachar Rothschild zt”l explains that we eat Hamentashin to show what destroyed Haman. The translation of their unique name (Hamentashin) is: “Haman tash, the weakening of Haman.” They are three-sided to show that when the Jews regained control and fulfilled their roles in their three aspects of their service of Hashem (self, others, God), this destroyed their enemy!

Purim is a special day when Hashem answers our prayers. This is because when we totally dedicate ourselves to Him, this produces strong feelings of closeness and love. Who would not do anything for someone that they adored? May our true colors shine forth and help us utilize this amazing day to achieve closeness with Hashem and may He answer all of our requests speedily, for the best!

 Print

Hashkafah, Purim, Uncategorized Ben Adom L'atzmo, Ben Adom L'Makom, Ben Adom L’chavaro, Eved Hashem, Limud HaTorah, Purim

ליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה וששון ויקר (אסתר ח:טז).

The Jews had light, happiness, fulfillment and preciousness (Esther 8:16).

The Gemara (Megillah 16b) tells of the greatness that the Jews achieved upon their victory from their enemies. Each word of this verse hints to one specific aspect of their lives:

“The Jews had light”, this is Torah,

“happiness”, these are the festivals (many explain this to refer to Shabbos and Yom Tov),

“fulfillment”, refers to circumcision,

“and preciousness”, refers to Tefillin.

Three Simple Questions

There are numerous questions that beg to be asked on all of this:

1-If the verse wished to express that the Nation achieved the ability to freely practice all of these Jewish rites, why does it not say them explicitly?! Why must Chazal perform detective work in order to properly decipher the hidden references of the verse, could it not have just read, “The Jews had Torah and festivals, etc?!

2-When the Megillah is read in Shul on Purim, there are four verses which the reader stops before reciting them and the entire congregation reads them out loud first (see Shulchan Aruch O”C 690:17. There is one additional verse read this way, but it is subject to a different discussion). This is done in order to stress the miraculous redemption which Hashem brought as expressed in these verses. The significance of each verse is clearly seen and it is apparent why they are given this special attention. They include the introduction of the great and heroic sage Mordechai and the recounting of the distinguished respect he received in the end. There is one verse whose presence on the VIP list is greatly perplexing… our verse! Why is it deemed so significant? Why should it be read out loud by the entire congregation?! What is so special about the four cryptic descriptions it contains?

3-During the recitation of the Havdalah, we have a custom that dictates that the one reciting stops and everyone declares one sentence. That sentence is our exact verse, ליהודים היתה אורה, the Jews had light etc., with an added phrase at the end, “Kain Ti’hyeh Lanu, so may we merit this as well!” What is the source for this custom? After searching through numerous texts and speaking to great Halachik authorities, it was established that, to the best of our knowledge, there is no known source for this custom! Perhaps through our understanding of this mysterious verse we will gain insight as to how the verse became a weekly ritual, emanating deep from the Jewish psyche.

Why Were They Decreed To Die?

The Gemara (Megillah 12a) tells us that the Jews were deemed deserving of death on account for their partaking in the feast of Achashveyrosh. The Gemara quotes Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai who counters this understanding by stating that this cannot be so, for only the inhabitants of Shushan attended the party and thus how could this have affected the Jews elsewhere? A strong question indeed. The Gemara appears to reject that explanation and then states an alternative reason. R’ Akiva Eiger points out a blatant contradiction here. The Midrash (Shir HaShirim Rabbah 7:14) states the Rabbi Shimon Bar Yochai himself explained that the reason why they were decreed destruction was on account for the party which they partook of?! How could he use an idea that he himself disproved?!

The answer lies in the very Midrash itself and this is precisely what R’ Akiva Eiger is drawing our attention to. Rabbi Shimon’s students asked him how the sin of the feast in Shushan could affect the Jews everywhere else? He answered them that this is understood through the concept of “Kol Yisrael Arayvim, all Jews are responsible for one another!” This needs to be understood better.

Unmotivated and Unexcited

Chazal tell us that at the time of Purim the Jews reaccepted the Torah willingly. At Mount Sinai they had accepted the Torah but it had not been whole-heartedly (see our full explanation in Introduction (Part 1 of 2)).  Hence, that commitment waned and faded over the years until in the time of Achashvayrosh it was nearly forgotten.

When we think of the story of Purim it is often not realized just how low the Jews had fallen. Chazal (Esther Rabbah 1:9) tell us that Hashem was outraged at the Jews because many of them were not keeping Shabbos! Additionally, Chazal tell us astonishing words that came out their mouth’s upon seeing the lavish feast of Achashveyrosh. They declared, “with  a feast this great and luxuriant, what more can Hashem offer us in Olam HaBah, the future world?! These blasphemous words are astounding!

They did not really mean or believe what they were saying, rather, the problem was one of feelings. The Jews had slowly forgotten about their passion in life. They had forgotten about their love and special bond with Hashem and the great mission which they had been given. Monotony, complacency and mediocrity had become their daily routine. They were going through life habitually and missing out on the true excitement in life called Avodas Hashem!

Good Morning Dear Jews!

It was time to wake them up! So Hashem sent one of the most evil men in all of history, Haman, to do the job. He was rich, powerful and he hated the Jews! A deadly combination. Suddenly, he got his plot off the ground and he was going to wipe out every single Jew from upon planet Earth. The Jews were jolted to an abrupt awakening. Suddenly, it didn’t matter if you kept Shabbos, learned Torah or didn’t, if you were a Jew, you were dead! Even the most secularized people of our Nation were forced to rethink their life’s course. The Jews gathered and repented and began to once again embrace their forgotten legacy. Day by day, more people returned; sincerity and passion returned. As the repentance increased, Hashem began to show His great hand more and more. One hidden miracle after another, and Esther was in the palace, Mordechai was a powerful governmental leader and the head enemy, Haman, was killed. The fear of the Jews fell upon the nations and the Jews regained their freedom!

Imagine how inspiring and emotionally charging the entire experience must have been. They regained their Jewish pride and most importantly they reaccepted the Torah, only this time out of complete love and total commitment.

Now we have the keys to answer everything.

The Solution

The sin of the Jews was that they had lacked passion and excitement in their Avodas Hashem. They veered away and stopped appreciating Hashem and His Torah. Thus, just as their service was dead, Hashem decreed death upon their bodies. When they rejuvenated and animated their daily service, this brought them back to life in a physical sense as well!

The Party

When they ate from the feast it represented the collective feelings of the whole Jewish public. They were stating, “Achashveyrosh has more fun and enjoyment to offer us than Hashem does!” This was the sin of the entire Nation! The Shushan incident was just one illustration of this!

They always knew that Torah was true, but they viewed it as bland and dead. It was only when they realized the greatness and excitement of Torah and Mitzvos that they were granted new life!

Light and Happiness

This is why the verse uses only adjectives to refer to the four Mitzvos that they rededicated themselves to. It was not enough just to bring back Torah and Mitzvos into their lives. It was a recognition of how exhilarating and invigorating Torah and Mitzvos are that was necessary. Their hearts were ignited to truly feel:

The only light is Torah!

The only happiness are the festivals!

The only fulfillment is through circumcision,

The only  preciousness is Tefillin.

A life of passion and dedication to Hashem!

A Powerful Illustrative Verse Indeed

Now we understand why this verse is so significant in recounting the great Jewish salvation. The recognition and appreciation expressed in this verse was the exact understanding that gave them life!

Recalibration

So too as we begin every new week, during the recitation of Havdalah, we concentrate upon this beautiful and fundamental verse for spiritual alignment. We pray that our hearts too should be opened to appreciate and truly feel just how meaningful and rich our relationship with Hashem is! We are blessed with the opportunity to live this every day!

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah, Mussar, Purim Growth, Ruchnius / Gashmius, Spiritual Map

ויהי אומן את הדסה היא אסתר בת דודו כי אין לה אב ואם והנערה יפת תואר וטובת מראה ובמות אביה ואמה לקחה מרדכי לו לבת (אסתר ב:ז)

He (Mordechai) raised Hadassah, who was Esther… for she had no parents; the girl (Esther) possessed a beautiful appearance… and when her parents died, Mordechai took her as his daughter (Esther 2:7).

We have discussed (see Part 1) the idea of “Bas” and “Bayis.” Chazal tell us that Mordechai married Esther and together they built their Jewish home. There are two more beautiful lessons which I would like to develop based on this verse. They pertain to Hadassah and Bayis.

Why Call Her Hadassah?

What was her name? Throughout the entire Megillah, she is called Esther, except for one place. The very first time that the Megillah talks about our hero, she is named Hadassah! The Gemara (Megillah 13a) disputes which of the two names was primary. Nevertheless, both opinions must explain why the name Hadassah is used to introduce her? What is going on here? Also, why is she called by a name which translates as “myrtle,” and why is she called this specifically in the verse that hints to her marriage?

It also must be noted that we find the same occurrence by Haman. The first time that he is referred to, according to Chazal, is in the first Chapter of Esther, when a brazen advisor named “Memuchan” speaks before his superiors. That Memuchan was none other than Haman. That is the first and last time that he is called by that name. How do we explain this as well?

Wife is Bayis

Chazal tell us that the word “bayis, house,” hints to marriage. We find this same idea expressed in Shabbos (118b), “Rebbe Yosi stated that he never referred to his wife as “wife,” rather, he called her, ‘my house’.” What is going on here?

The Wedding Ring

In order to understand what is being expressed here we must first examine the rationale behind an interesting custom at the wedding ceremony. The Chasson, groom, stands under the Chupah canopy together with his Kallah, bride, and in front of two witnesses he recites his declaration of marriage and then places the ring on her finger. With her acceptance, they are now married. Customarily, he places the ring specifically upon her index (pointer) finger. Why is this so? Now, it certainly does not invalidate the marriage if he were to place it on any other finger or even in her palm, however, how do we understand this preferred custom? Why we do not tell him to place the ring upon her “ring finger” as would seem more logical?

Now, truth be told, the simplest reason is just a practicality. The witnesses need to see the placement of the ring upon her and the easiest finger to stretch out in clear view is certainly her pointer! But there is more depth here as well, as we shall see.

Fingers and Senses

Rabbeinu Bechayeh (Parshas Tzav) teaches us that the five fingers correspond to the five senses that we possess. More so, each finger is naturally drawn to the sense which it represents. Try to guess them yourself before you read on! Here is his list in summary:

1-Thumb: corresponds to taste (mouth). (There have been babies in their mother’s womb who were observed sucking their thumbs!)

2-Index (Pointer): corresponds to smell (nose!) This one is well known!

3-Middle: corresponds to touch. Since it is the longest finger, it can reach and touch the furthest parts of the body.

4-Ring: corresponds to sight. Many wipe their eyes with this finger.

5-Pinky: corresponds to the ear and hearing. This one is also well understood!

Bearing this in mind, we now have a key to understanding fingers.

The Pointer of God

When Hashem performed the miracles in Egypt, the Egyptians called them “Etzbah Elokim, the index finger of God.” What is the significance?

Four of the senses are all physical in their nature. We use taste, touch, sight and hearing to receive pleasure from this world. The sense of smell is the most spiritual from all of them. Chazal (Berachos 43b) state that a pleasure that only the soul benefits from is that of smell! It has spiritual connections. Hashem blew into Adam’s nostrils to give him life. This was how his Neshamah, soul, was installed into his body. Thus, smell represents pure spirituality.

Hence, when the Egyptians realized that the miracles were not mere Kishuf, earthly evil black-magic, but rather emanating from the True Spiritual Source, they acknowledged this. They called the plagues by the term of the index finger, the finger linked to the sense of smell, the most spiritual element! They recognized the spiritual element of Hashem’s actions in the world. When we remove wine from our cups on Pesach night upon mentioning the ten plagues, this is the reason that we do so utilizing our pointer!

The Marriage Finger

Now we understand why the wedding ring is placed on the pointer. When a man gets married he can do so for many reasons. His focus could be spiritual or physical. He may be marrying for his own personal lustful reasons, to satisfy his nerve endings and desires. Or he can approach matrimony with dignity, respect and holiness, recognizing the great spirituality involved. This is certainly the best outlook. Thus, our custom is that he begins the marriage by focusing on her pointer finger, the finger representing smell and spiritual growth, showing that he is marrying her in recognition of her spiritual qualities and will grow together with her in their pursuit of closeness to Hashem! He certainly cannot deny her beauty, indeed, that is a gift from Hashem meant to be appreciated, but his priorities are in order and his goals are properly balanced.

Those that get married utilizing the ring finger are expressing a different outlook. That finger corresponds to his eyes and sight. Following one’s eyes is the most dangerous method to utilize when choosing a life’s partner. That method begins with much lust and excitement but fizzles out disappointingly fast! Only one who focuses on qualities and growth can achieve marital happiness and success, with proper effort and sensitivity.

Grand Appearance

The first time that a name is expressed shows the person’s essence. Haman is called “Memuchan” when we meet him, a name that Chazal (Megillah 12b) translate as “awaiting punishment.” Throughout the Megillah, everything that Haman arranged in order to destroy Mordechai and the Jews, was ultimately one big contribution and lead up to his own destruction. This was his essence, clearly expressed by the name Memuchan.

The True Hadassah

Hadassah was Esther’s essence. She was a sweet smelling fragrant Hadassah, myrtle, connected to Hashem and dedicated to growth. This was who she proved herself to be throughout the entire story as she sacrificed herself to save her Jewish brethren. She was a truly spiritually focused person, hence her original name expressed fragrant aroma, to connote her spiritual beauty.

How apropos that she should be called this name specifically in the verse that discusses her marriage to Mordechai! The verse is testifying to the great spiritual focus which they built their relationship upon. This is the very plan and advice of the Torah for a meaningful relationship. Now we understand why she is called Hadassah.

Same as Bayis!

And now for the Bayis! Chazal (Kesubos 17a) tell us that Rebbe Yehuda bar Ila’ah would dance before the Kallah with branches of Hadas, myrtle! Also, Reb Achah would lift up the Kallah and carry her on his shoulders! His students asked him if they could copy his custom. He replied, “if she is like a wooden beam in your eyes, then it is permissible for you to do this as well!”

With all that we explained, it is delightfully clear as to why the myrtle branch was present at the weddings! This expresses the focus upon the sense of smell, holiness and spirituality that we imbue our marriage with!

Building Beam

What is the lesson of Reb Achah and his wooden beam parallel? The lesson based upon the Maharsha is that many see women as objects of desire and sexual lure. This is not the proper Torah view. A woman is a partner in building a home for Hashem. This was precisely what Reb Achah wished to express. Just as a wooden beam is the support of the entire house, so too “the wisdom of a woman builds her home” (Mishley 14). We strive to view our wife as a partner in building and growth!

“My House”

Finally, this is what Rebbe Yosi meant by referring to his wife as “my home”. He acknowledged her power of building and her spiritual insight that inspired him and their children to grow! A woman has tremendous power to inspire others and help permeate her home with the holy presence of Hashem. Together, man and woman can accomplish this. One who gears their focus on these elevated spiritual ideals will find much happiness and fulfillment. Indeed, even their everyday physical experiences will become more enjoyable as they are infused with true connection and service of Hashem!

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah Marriage, Ruchnius / Gashmius

…והנערה יפת תואר וטובת מראה ובמות אביה ואמה לקחה מרדכי לו לבת (אסתר ב:ז)

The girl (Esther) possessed a beautiful appearance… and when her parents died, Mordechai took her as his daughter (Esther 2:7)

Chazal tell us (Megilla 13a) that the word “bas, daughter,” in this verse is to be read as “bayis, house,” meaning that in actuality Mordechai took Esther as his wife.

There are many lessons inherent in our verse, let us examine some of them as we attempt to resolve the many difficulties found in understanding this verse.

The Numerous Issues

The first problem is, why does the verse describe Esther as being taken as a daughter if it really means wife, why not just say wife?! Also, according to Chazal’s elucidation, how do we explain the word “bayis, house” this is a strange reference to marriage as well?

Let us site an additional source that is hard to understand as it will ultimately shed much light on this important topic. The Gemara (Sotah 12a) states, “he who marries a women for the sake of Heaven is considered to have given birth to her as his daughter.” At first glance, this statement seems perplexing and hard to understand. What are Chazal trying to teach us? What does it mean to marry L’shem Shamayim, for the sake of Heaven? What is the parable and benefit of considering her to be his daughter?! Very perplexing?!

The commentators are surprisingly silent on many of these issues. One line from the Ben Ish Chai, though, opens up the gates of understanding for us. He connects this Gemara to another statement of Chazal (Bava Basra 141a). “If your first child born is a daughter, this is a good sign for your children who follow!”

He ends by stating that if one marries a woman for the sake of Heaven, then her presence makes it as if you gave birth to a daughter first and thus it is good for your children who follow. This is his answer! But what does it mean?

This completes all of our quandaries regarding many cryptic words; now we will try to find a proper explanation!

The Original Plan

When Hashem gave Adam his wife, Chava, this was the first marriage to ever take place. The Ramban and many other Commentators state that one must study those early events well and take note of every nuance expressed as it represents the foundation of all future unions as well.

One illustration provided by the Ramban is that Hashem did not give Adam his wife until Adam asked for her! Hashem first wanted him to recognize his deficiency without her and then to request her from Hashem and only after that would he be given the great gift of marriage, with newly-gained appreciation. This is a fundamental outlook for one searching for their mate and has connotations for those married as well!

An Extension

The very first description which Adam gives upon seeing his wife is (Beraishis 2:23): She is a bone from my bones and flesh from my flesh, she should be called Isha, woman, for she comes from Ish, man!

Why in fact did Hashem create the woman from a part of man himself? Could He not have just used raw material from another source, perhaps from dirt just as Adam was formed?!

This is a simple yet fundamental question. The answer will prepare us to understand Hashem’s goal for marriage!

Hashem wanted man and woman to be one unified unit! True, each one would have different personalities, tendencies and strengths, in fact very diversely, but, in essence they would blend and work together! By creating their bodies (and souls as well as stated in the Zohar) from one place, this gave them an intrinsic bond and connection that would last for eternity. Man and woman were to ponder their shared creation and realize the importance of building a deep relationship between them. Hashem created them from one body to teach them to work together to become like one! Their serving Hashem together by following His Torah and Mitzvos and treating each other with sensitivity and respect makes them into one! (based on Gra in Mishley 9:10)

Like One

R’ Yaakov Yosef Herman was once waiting in an office together with his wife and newly married daughter and son-in-law, R’ Chaim Pinchus Scheinberg. R’ Scheinberg was sitting next to his own wife and his in-laws were on the outer ends of the two of them. He joked with his father-in-law saying, “I’m closer to my wife that you are to yours!”

R’ Herman chuckled and then retorted with his own quick rebuttal, a lesson that would last a lifetime: You just got married, so for now, in order for you to be close to your wife, you must sit right near her, but my wife and I have been married for years and are so close and connected in our hearts that no physical distance can ever separate us! Thus, I am closer to my wife!

This is the Torah’s perspective on marriage. Intimate closeness in heart and soul.

Bone and Flesh

One more point and then we will tie our original verse about Adam together!

The verse stated that the woman was created from Adam’s “bone” and “flesh.” We understand the reference to his bone as the verse earlier stated explicitly that Hashem created Chava from one of his ribs, hence she comes from his bone. But what is the “flesh” referring to? Where do we see that Hashem built Chava out of any flesh of Adam?!

Chazal (Pirkey D’R’ Eliezer 11) were perplexed by this exact question and thus explained the following. Hashem took flesh from Adam’s heart and used it in the construction of Chava! The depth here is that one’s wife has the power to capture his heart and this in fact is Hashem’s plan for marriage! A deep and loving bond should permeate their lives together!

To Summarize

Hashem desires for man and woman to connect and work together to grow. He set them up to unite and help each other. Their job is to become one and thus be a helpmate for one another in serving Hashem to their fullest. A derivative of this proper bonding will be that they will have children and their love for each other will then pour forth upon their children and inspire them too with an appreciation and dedication to the service of Hashem!

Selfish Spouse

Someone who gets married for selfish reasons does not appreciate this. He simply wants to marry for his own self-pleasure. He seeks to get and to take whatever he can from his spouse and has no plan for caring or sharing. He is thus failing to see that Hashem created man and wife to become one. He cares not for lofty goals, all he wants is personal gratification. He cares nothing of connection, only for fulfilling his desires! This is not the correct approach and his plan will surely fail. He cannot find happiness when he does not follow the Torah’s prescription for fulfillment. Inevitably, he will get tired of her and will not feel very good about his life. This is because he neglected to serve Hashem. It is a tragic and vicious cycle. Very often, he will start to terribly mistreat her and show no appreciation as his only focus and desire is to fulfill his own wants, not caring about the needs of others. His marriage will be painful and his family will become dysfunctional. His children will be turned off from what he claims to believe in as they lack a proper role-model. This is not always the case, but it is the general course that a selfish person is on. How tragic indeed. Only one who follows the Torah approach will have much enjoyment and fulfillment waiting for him.

To Put It All Together

We now understand what it means to marry for the sake of Heaven. To see marriage as an opportunity for growing and encouraging Avodas Hashem together! To appreciate how Hashem created her from his bone and heart so that they can connect! As the Raavad writes, “the beauty of marriage is to be like one single body and entity, connected and working together.”

The Maharal (Ohr Chadash p. 114) states that this is what it means by “if one marries L’Shem Shamayim, she is like your daughter.” A daughter is built from you, she is an extension of you. The Torah wants you to view your wife as an extension of yourself. This is the most productive and beneficial outlook. It is meant in the most positive way, to be truly connected and close.

This is the exact meaning of marrying for the sake of Heaven and the explanation and benefit of considering her your daughter, your connection!

Our original verse is stating this as well. The verse began by stating that Esther was a most beautiful and attractive young lady! We know that her looks and charm even made her the winner of Achashvayrosh’s beauty contest. But this was not the sole focus of Mordechai. He married her for her qualities. She was someone to work and grow with. He viewed her as his daughter, an extension of himself, fulfilling Hashem’s plan for marriage!

What is the Bayis?

But still why do Chazal use the word bayis, house? The answer is that this ties everything together!

The Gemara quoted by the Ben Ish Chai stated that when a girl is born first this is good for the children who follow. He stated that if you marry L’Shem Shamayim you are considered to have had a daughter first already. What does this all mean?!

The Gemara there explains the benefit of this firstborn girl. As the oldest, she will care for and nurture all of her siblings under her! This is the benefit for her family! They will have a second loving and caring mother!

There is nothing that a parent would not do for their child. So if one asks what is the most important thing that I can do for can my children to prepare them for success? The answer is: the best thing you can do for your children is, love their mother! When children grow up in a warm and healthy environment this puts them at a great advantage for life!

If two people marry L’Shem Shamayim, to grow with their spouse in service of Hashem, they have shown that they will work together and be kind and considerate towards each other. They realize that she is his daughter, connected as one! Hence, they will work hard to have marital harmony. They will have the benefit of a loving and nurturing mother for she will be happy and encouraged by her husband who loves and believes in her. Their children will benefit from the “firstborn daughter” who cares for them so affectionately and carefully! A truly heartwarming and inspirational home! This I believe is the intention of the Ben Ish Chai and this I believe brings everything together.

Because she is the bas, they will have a beautiful bayis! May we all achieve these beautiful goals! The opportunity to live with this perspective is available every day!

 Print

Hashkafah, Machshuvah Avodas Hashem, L'shem Shamayim, ShalomBayis, Torah marriage