קמו בניה ויאשרוה בעלה ויהללה.

“Her children have risen and praised her; her husband has extolled her.”

The Aishes Chayil is adored and treasured by her family. When her husband and children contemplate and see all that she does for them, they thank her and express their gratitude. She fixes their clothing, prepares their food, provides emotional support and encouragement and is a great wife and mother. As noted in the Introduction (1) to this series, the appreciation and love that one receives for their deeds acts as the greatest motivator for them to continue.

The Aishes Chayil earned the respect and adoration of her family and deserves to hear her praises sung. Giving respect and appreciation is a Torah principle that should not be overlooked. If one contemplates all that the Aishes Chayil does for the family, one would see that there is much to be grateful for!

It has always perplexed me as to why the children are mentioned in reference to their giving praise before her very own husband. I believe that it is expressive of something very profound. Her husband indeed is to lead the family in recognizing and being grateful for all that the Aishes Chayil does for the family. He should instill in them a deep sense of recognition for their precious mother. So much so that they should praise her on their own and not just as a means of copying him. Thus, the verse places the children’s praise first to show how deeply appreciative they are. The children praise her and her husband then says even more, he extolls her to no end.

Rashi states that the verse refers to the study of Torah. Her children are the students of Torah and her husband hints to Hashem Himself. Malbim adds that Osher is in the World to Come. She gets tremendous reward and credit for raising her children to be connected to Torah. Hallel refers to prestige in this world. Her husband is known by the gates (as mentioned earlier in the verse) and she is given respect for helping to build him. Everyone deserves proper appreciation and when it is expresses with sincerity it helps make one even greater.

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein (1895-1986 ) offers great insight here. He says that the laws of kashering vessels teach us that just as a vessel can be cleaned and purified through great effort and toil, so too, a person should always know that no matter how dirty and impure he thinks his Neshamah is, he can always put in the effort to purify himself. This is a fundamental concept in all of the Torah. This is why the Torah introduces the topic with great stress and attention.

As we are in the Three Weeks and approaching Tisha B’Av, we can look at ourselves individually and nationally and feel hopeless and far from Hashem. However, the purpose of this time period is to inspire us and challenge us to take the next step in self-improvement and growth. It’s never too late to get back on track. In fact, it is only from the Three Weeks that we enter the month of Elul which heralds self-actualization and Rosh HaShanah, Yom Kippur, and Succos. Our goal is to use this time to get closer to Hashem and in touch with our true selves and who we want to be.

Indeed, one of the most important parts of the Torah is the recognition that the Torah’s lessons give us the ability to transcend our animalistic tendencies and the shackles and limitations of earthy pull. Torah propels us upward and allows us to emulate the Divine. May we all merit to use this time for growth and achieving happiness and success.

Stretching eight hundred and eighty two feet and eight inches, carrying four cases of opium, fifty cases of toothpaste, one Renault 35 horse-power automobile (owned by passenger William Carter), a cask of china headed for Tiffany’s, and five grand pianos, the Titanic has captured our hearts and interest for almost one hundred years. There were 705 survivors and 1523 people died tragically. The Titanic has many fascinating mysteries waiting to be revealed. Did you know what else was on the boat? Seven parcels of parchment of the Torah owned by Hersh L. Siebald were on board. Captain Smith was planning to retire after the maiden voyage of Titanic. The Titanic cost $7,500,000 to make in the early 1900s which is equivalent to $400,000,000 today. What did it cost to travel on the Titanic? The lowest fare for third-class passage was approximately $36.25 one way for a single person willing to share a cabin. In second-class, the starting price for similar travel terms was $66. First-class started at $125, but could escalate quickly depending on the size and décor of the room. The highest priced deluxe suite was priced at £900, or $4,500. This was a fabulous sum of money when an ordinary house at the time could be purchased for less than $1,000 dollars, hence the nickname: “The Millionaire’s Suite.”

What did passengers eat? The different classes of passengers on the Titanic ate in their own dining rooms. The cost of meals was included in the ticket price, except for those first-class passengers who chose the option of dining in a deluxe, pay-as-you-go restaurant. First-class menus show a special effort to tempt the jaded palates of the very rich, long accustomed to the best of the best. Dinner in first-class was served in eight or nine courses, typically starting with hors d’œuvres variés and oysters. Afterwards, each course would be presented separately, requiring a constant parade of table service and waiters. The last meal in the first-class dining room included Consommé Olga (a veal stock soup garnished with sturgeon spinal marrow); Salmon garnished with Cucumber and Mousseline Sauce (a Hollandaise variation); Filets Mignons Lili (prepared with foie gras, artichoke hearts, and truffle); Lamb with Mint Sauce; Creamed Carrots, Roasted Squab on Cress, Cold Asparagus Vinaigrette, and Pâté de Foie Gras. Desserts the final day a sea included Peaches in Chartreuse Jelly and Waldorf Pudding. The recipe for the last item has been lost over the years. Perhaps it was a “house specialty” of the White Star Line and never committed to paper. The second-class luncheon menu was far more straight forward and included pea soup, spaghetti au gratin, corned beef, vegetable dumplings, roast mutton, baked jacket potatoes, ox tongue, pickles, tapioca pudding, and apple tart. Third-class menus typically featured simple to prepare soups and stews: vegetable soup, roast pork, sage and onions, green peas, boiled potatoes, cabin biscuits, fresh bread, plum pudding in sweet sauce, and oranges were options at a typical midday meal.

The Titanic was designed to be spacious and luxurious, not a speed record breaker. The Titanic had been designed for a speed of 21 knots (24 miles per hour) and could not compete with the Cunard Line’s Mauretania, which held the speed record in 1912 of 26 knots (30 miles per hour).

Why didn’t Titanic carry enough lifeboats? The Titanic’s lifeboat capacity was governed by the British Board of Trade’s rules, which was drafted in 1894. By 1912, these lifeboat regulations were badly out of date. The Titanic was four times larger than the largest legal classification considered under the eighteen year old rules and so by law was not required to carry more than sixteen lifeboats, regardless of the actual number of people onboard. When she left Southampton, the Titanic actually carried more than the law required: the sixteen rigid lifeboats were supplemented by four additional collapsible boats. The shipping industry was aware that the lifeboat regulations were going to be changed soon and Titanic’s deck space and davits were designed for the anticipated “boats for all” policy, but until the law actually changed, White Star was not going to install them. The decision seems difficult to understand today, but in 1912, the attitude towards accident prevention was much different. At the turn of the century, ship owners were reluctant to exceed the legal minimum because lifeboats took up most of the space on first- and second-class decks. Boats were expensive to purchase, maintain, and affected a ship’s stability. Finally, in the years before the Titanic Disaster, it was felt that the very presence of large numbers of lifeboats suggested that somehow the vessel was unsafe. The same reluctance showed up as late as the 1950s for automobile seatbelts. Car makers at that time were also reluctant to install seatbelts because the belts seemed to imply there was something unsafe about the car.

When was the Titanic built and how long did it take? White Star publicly announced their intention of building the Titanic in 1907 during the maiden voyage of RMS Lusitania, owned by their archrival the Cunard Line. In the years that followed 1907, money was raised for construction, plans and specifications drawn up, and negotiations started with New York port authorities for permission to construct lengthened piers to accommodate the new leviathans. Physical construction on Titanic started on March 22, 1909 with the riveting together of the first of the Ship’s steel plates. A little over two years later, the Titanic was launched on May 31, 1911; however, much work still needed to be done. Ships at that time were typically launched as empty hulls to keep the launch weight down to a minimum. It would take almost an additional year to install the Ship’s engines, boilers, interiors, galleys, and navigating equipment. Titanic was delivered to the White Star Line in early April, and on April 10, 1912, the Titanic left Southampton, England, for her first trip to New York City.

How was the Titanic different from the competition? White Star began planning Titanic in 1907. The rival Cunard Line was having great success with their new ships Lusitania and Mauretania, which were the largest and fastest ships in the world at the time. Their record breaking crossings, however, came with an enormous price tag in terms of coal, vibration, and manpower, so White Star wisely decided not to compete directly with Cunard in terms of speed. By foregoing speed, the White Star Line committed to a slightly slower design, but one that proved far more spacious, comfortable, and luxurious.

What is a “sister ship” and did Titanic have any? The White Star Line decided to build three identical ships, called “sister ships” from the one set of plans that Harland and Wolff was preparing. These ships were later given the names “Olympic”, “Titanic”, and “Britannic”. It was common for steamship companies to build several ships from the same plans. A great deal of money could be saved this way since engineers only had to draw up one set of blueprints for the whole series of ships. More important, it allows steamship lines to offer “balanced weekly service”. If White Star had only built the Titanic, given her speed and the amount of time it takes to get the Ship ready between voyages, the Titanic could only visit New York once a month. This was too long between voyages and passengers on a tight schedule would naturally consider booking passage on another line with a ship ready to leave. By building three similar vessels, White Star was able to offer passage on a luxury liner once every seven days. Since each of the sister ships was supposed to be identical, passengers would not have a strong preference to travel on one ship over the other. Of course, as sister ships were built, the newer ships were modified to improve on the earlier ones. Olympic made her debut in 1911, and by the time of Titanic’s maiden voyage in 1912, several changes were made in the latter ship’s design including the addition of more luxury suites and the enclosing the forward Promenade Deck. The third ship, ultimately named Britannic, was heavily modified in light of the Titanic disaster with additional watertight bulkheads and new lifeboat arrangements.

I came across the following amazing story and wished to share it:

By Rabbi Pesach Krohn (with my modifications based on personal research)

I am grateful to Mr. and Mrs. Gilbert and Roberta Binder and Mrs. Marie Aks of Virginia Beach, Virginia, for providing recordings and personal information about this story.

In 1910, Mr. Sam Aks of Turek, Poland, immigrated to England where he married Leah Rosen. They lived in London for a while after their wedding, and they decided to move to America where there were better business opportunities. They settled on moving to Norfolk, Virginia. By this time Leah was expecting their first child and her parents felt strongly that in her condition she should not make such an arduous trip across the ocean. They felt it would be too exhausting for her and dangerous for the unborn child. It was decided that Sam would travel alone, set up a home in Norfolk and a few months after the child was born, Leah would come with the infant. The newspapers and media at the time were ablaze with the news of the opulent, gigantic ocean liner, the Titanic that was to make its historic maiden voyage from Southampton, England to New York City in April of 1912.

The White Star Line, the Flagship Company of the Titanic, confidently claimed that their luxury liner was safe, sturdy and even majestic. On April 10, Mrs. Leah Aks and her baby, with 912 other passengers, boarded the ship in Southampton, England, accompanied by great fanfare and ceremony. Leah and her infant were in steerage, the third class cabin, with many other immigrants to America. The high society wealthy people were in the luxurious first class cabins. More passengers boarded at other ports before the Titanic crossed the ocean. Everyone on board would lose their lives unless they could get on lifeboats and be rescued by passing ships. Four days later, shortly before midnight on April 14, as the ship was 95 miles south of the Grand Banks in Newfoundland, it sideswiped and crashed into an iceberg that towered a hundred feet over the deck. [Ninety percent of an iceberg is hidden beneath the water. Thus the iceberg was literally a mountain of ice close to a thousand feet from top to bottom. Its massive knife-like edges beneath the water surface punctured and gashed the ship along 250 feet of its hull].

Twenty minutes later, after consulting with the ship’s designer, Thomas Andrews, Captain Edward Smith realized that the ship would sink within two hours. Everyone on board would lose their lives unless they could get on lifeboats and be rescued by passing ships.

Incredibly, there were not enough spaces in the lifeboats for everyone. Though there were 2200 passengers and crew on board, there was room for only 1178 on the lifeboats. More than a thousand people would surely die. One is astounded at the negligence of not being prepared for disaster. As the boat began tilting there was panic and pandemonium. The captain and crew ordered that women and children would be saved first. In the third class cabin, women were ordered to the front and men to the rear. Leah Aks held her son Frank Philip (Ephraim Fishel), in her arms and tried to get out onto the deck, but the gate in front of the cabin jammed and no one could get out. She stood pressed against the gate, screaming for help. A sailor saw her with her baby in her arms and he reached over the gate and lifted her and the child out, so that she could run to the deck where women and children were being put into lifeboats. (Most of the people in the third class cabin could not get out and 75% of them drowned. The first class cabin fared better, as only 40% died).

Leah ran up to the deck with her child and waited by the railing, trying to get on line to be rescued. It was frighteningly cold. People were shoving and pushing frantically trying to get onto lifeboats. Meanwhile down below, water poured thunderously through the gaping holes, flooding the bottom of the ship. As Leah stood on the deck, one if the wealthiest women on board, Lady Madeleine Astor, saw her and the baby huddled against the cold. Lady Astor, who was expecting a child, removed her beautiful eight-foot shawl and gave it to Leah saying, “Here, wrap your baby, it’s so cold out here.” Her teeth chattering, Leah thanked her profusely.

During this time, a man had pushed onto a lifeboat that was about to be lowered into the water. When cabin stewards saw him, they forced him out of the boat and pulled him back on deck, yelling that women and children were being rescued first. Somehow this man managed to get onto another lifeboat and once again the stewards saw him and forced him off the lifeboat, fighting with him, as they insisted that women and children were being given priority. The man saw Leah standing there with her baby now wrapped in the shawl. He was enraged. His eyes were wild as he stalked back and forth consumed by anger and frustration. In a demented moment of madness he ran towards Leah and screamed, “You think women are first! You think children are first! I’ll show you,” and he grabbed the infant from Leah’s arms and threw him overboard! Leah shrieked in horror and cried out for her child. Men on board lunged at this maniac but the deed had been done. People were yelling and screaming — but now it was Leah’s turn to get on a lifeboat. “I won’t go without my baby,” she cried. But the officers told her she had to save her own life. There was no point in staying on the sinking ship. The women around her tried to console her, but Leah cried hysterically as she was placed on the lifeboat and lowered into the water. Meanwhile Leah, still in a state of shock, was pushed into lifeboat 13 next to Selena Rogers Cook.

The lifeboats drifted for three hours until the Cunard liner, the Carpathia, came and rescued those who were fortunate enough to get off the Titanic (Cunard was the competitive line). Only 705 were saved, 1523 people died. Two days later, the grief-stricken Leah Aks was walking on the deck of the Carpathia when she saw a woman holding a child. The child lunged towards Leah. She recognized him. Leah screamed, “That’s my baby! That’s my child!”

The woman holding the child, Mrs. Elizabeth Ramell Nye, was dressed in a long black dress embroidered with a huge cross. “No it’s not,” she insisted. “This child was entrusted to me!” (Others contend the woman was possibly Aryene del Carlo from Italy.)

A wild argument ensued and Mrs. Nye claimed that while she was in the lifeboat, a child came flying into her waiting arms. To her that was a sign from Heaven that she had to care for the child the rest of her life.

People took sides in the argument. Soon the captain of the Carpathia, Arthur H. Rostron, was called to decide the issue. Leah was crying hysterically while Mrs. Nye was insisting her position. She would not be denied this child. When Captain Rostron arrived and heard the points of the argument, he told both women to come with the child to his quarters where he could reflect and decide the matter.

In the captain’s quarters, Leah suddenly called out, “I can prove this is my child.” The 18-year-old Leah spoke firmly and with certainty, “I am Jewish and my son was circumcised!” In Europe at that time, only Jewish children were circumcised. When Captain Rostron saw that indeed the child had had a circumcision, ten-month-old Ephraim Fishel was reunited with his mother. Eventually the Carpathia brought all the survivors to New York. Frank Philip Aks was raised in his rightful Jewish home. Eventually he married and had children and grandchildren. Frank passed away in 1991 at the age of 80. His wife, Marie, recently told me that as a youngster he would walk for miles on Shabbat to daven in the Orthodox shul in Norfolk, known as the Cumberland Street Shul.

After the traumatic events of the ill-fated journey, Leah was so grateful to Captain Rostron and his crew that years later when she had her only daughter she named her Sarah Carpathia Aks. Incredibly there was some confusion among the hospital secretaries and they recorded her name on her birth certificate as Sarah Titanic Aks!

Mrs. Aks died on June 22, 1967 and was buried at Forest Lawn Cemetery, Norfolk, Virginia. Frank died on July 15, 1991 and was buried in the family plot at Forest Lawn Cemetery, Norfolk, Virginia. His life and Jewish identity were something of great importance to him and a powerful lesson to all.

Pinchas’ act at first glance seems brazen and violent. Although it was the Torah law, it seems harsh as it involved taking the life of two people. When someone does something brazen it has a lasting effect on his or her personal character construct.  Thus, after this justified act, Hashem wished to instill in Pinchas and his family a deep connection and appreciation of Shalom, peace. This is what the blessing of Shalom is all about.

Our actions define who we are. If we see something violent or immoral, as much as we disapprove and condemn it, the mere experience can negatively influence us and desensitize us to our true inner souls. Chazal (Sotah 2a) tell us that one who saw the Sotah explode  needed to do take upon him or herself to stay away from wine. What does this mean? The Sotah committed an immoral act of adultery and this came about through frivolity and the drinking of wine. Thus, the bystanders were instructed that the best thing to do was to become a Nazir and accept on oneself to stay away from wine and sin for at least thirty days. How is this to be understood, he just watched a woman become demeaned and explode in front of his very eyes, what more is necessary to stop one from sinning? The answer is that when one sees sin, one becomes accustomed to it and it is not enough to simply learn to turn away from it, one must do an action that rebuilds his intolerance and objection of the horrible act. By making oneself a Nazir, he shows his abhorrence and intolerance of sin.

I am not in the position to make spiritual suggestions, but I will share with you what is on my mind after this week’s tragic and heartbreaking news about the murder of an innocent and pure 8 year old boy named Leiby Kletzky zt”l hy”d. The outpouring and love expressed in the community as all walks of life joined to search for and ultimately to give comfort to the family is a sight that has brought chills and tears to people around the world. But what am I doing about it? What can I do to show my disapproval and to honor Leiby’s soul? I feel that I need to find one thing that I can accept on myself in order to show that I value human life and appreciate that one person is equivalent to the entire world (Sanhedrin 37a). There is so much to think about as we scramble to find answers to so many alarming and uncomfortable questions. Let’s not forget to come up with one resolution that will make us into better and more sensitive people.  

צופיה הליכות ביתה ולחם עצלות לא תאכל.

“She anticipates the ways of her household, and does not eat the bread of laziness.”

The Aishes Chayil is in tune with her family’s needs (Rashi). She sees what they need and works to provide it for them. What does the first part of the verse have to do with the second, she is attentive and not lazy. The Midrash (Mishlei 31) states that this verse refers to the righteous wife of the Prophet Ovadya whose merit saved her children and prevented them from serving Avodah Zarah with Achav. What is this referring to?

Queen Isebel was the evil wife of King Achav and she set out on a mission to kill all of the Neveim of Hashem (Melachim I, 18). Ovadya and his wife acted quickly and took two groups of 50 Neveim each and hid them in two separate caves feeding and tending to them with great personal sacrifice until the danger passed. When Ovadya died, he left a tremendous debt because of this project and his wife went to Elisha in order to get help in paying it back. Elisha told her to borrow all the pots and containers that she could get her hands on. She was then to simply pour her last oil jug and fill up as many more empty jugs as she needed. She did just that and through this miracle she paid off all of the debt and supported her family with the leftovers (Melachim II, 4).

Pesikta D’Rav Kahana (2:5) states that there was a tremendous wrath against the Jews at the time of Isevel and they deserved to be wiped out for allowing murder and Avoda Zarah to take place. It was only in the merit of Aishes Ovadya’s dedication and encouragement to her husband to help safe the 100 Neveim that allowed for the Jews to be spared.

Aishes Ovadya was dedicated to the task of doing anything in her power to keep the link of Neveim and Toras Emes alive. She knew that she was risking her own life and financial security with the undertaking, but she knew that it had to be done. It was in the merit of these actions that she helped her husband and two sons become the greatest that they could be and she saved Klal Yisrael from being annihilated.

Her actions showed a deep care and concern for the Jewish nation and she proved herself to be selfless and a true hero. She could have simply told her husband that she did not want to take on this monumental undertaking, but her commitment to the needs of Klal Yisrael and her absence of any laziness propelled her and encouraged her family to greatness. It is most apropos to note that the oil that she pour was unlimited. The only reason that it stopped flowing was because she ran out of vessels to fill. This signifies that Hashem is ready to help us do anything that we set our minds to. He wants us to have unlimited success. There is no limit to the greatness that we can achieve when we set our minds to it.

פיה פתחה בחכמה ותורת־חסד על־לשונה.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom; the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

The Midrash (Mishlei 31) states this verse refers to Serach Bas Asher. When Yoav was chasing down the murderer Sheva Ben Bichri he trapped him in the Jewish city of Aveila (see Shmuel II 20) and was about to destroy the entire area in order to get to Sheva.  Serach negotiated using her wisdom between her townsfolk and Yoav the general and was able to find a solution that made everyone happy and prevented a civil war.

Serach is famous for being the one that broke the news to Yaakov that Yosef was still alive after 22 years. Chazal state that Yaakov was so happy at that time that he blessed her that she should live forever and she was one of ten people that entered Gan Eden alive. What is this all about?

The catch-phrase is, “it’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.” Breaking the news to Yaakov was a most daunting task as the brothers were not sure how to tell him without causing him to have a heart-attack from the excitement. Serach took on the task and using her harp and music she slowly developed the lyrics to express an idea about Yosef. Progressively and diligently she got into Yaakov’s subconscious mind the thought the Yosef was still alive. She slowly eased him into the idea until she started expressing it more and more clearly. By the time that she finished her song, Yaakov was calm and had already heard the most amazing news. He recognized her thought, sensitivity and care and blessed her with a long life.

Serach held the secret to success in life, how to communicate softly and considerately with others. She was the paradigm of sweet expression and care. She stood for the essence of a Jewish woman, someone who could teach and instill Torah in the hearts of the highly impressionable children. She embodied the concept of “Chanoch L’naar Al Pi Darko, educate the child according to his own personality.”

This is the same trait that the Aishes Chayil has, she knows how and when to say things and in what manner they will be most heard.

The Gemara (Bava Basra 60a) states that Bilaam was praising the Jews for their tznius, private and modest way in which their tents were pitched. Their tent doors each faced away from one another so that each person could maintain their privacy. The Gemara in Sanhendrin (105b) states that Bilaam was cursing them that they should not have Shuls. What is being stated here?

Rabbi Moshe Feinstein zt”l (1895-1986) states that these two ideas are one and the same. Bilaam saw the strength of the Jewish home and stated that this being the case they had no need for public Shuls. In truth however there are two aspects of Chinuch, one inside the house and the other outside. It is so important for the child to be educated and shown the meaningful and enjoyable ways of the Torah inside the home. It is also important for the child to be in a positive atmosphere of good influences and healthy friends. Education takes place in and out of the home in a safe Torah environment.

I believe that these two points are hinted in the verse itself. “How great are your tents,” refers to the private homes of the Jews, the Mikdash Mi’at. “Your dwelling places,” refers to the public Shuls of the Jews. We strive to provide the greatest and warmest atmosphere in both. The Jewish home is a safe and secure place where Jewish Neshamos are nurtured and shown the truth and beauty of Torah. The Jewish Shul is the place that one connects with fellow Ovdei Hashem to inspire one another to grow.

by Binyomin Radner

פרק כ’ פסוק י”ב – “ויאמר ה’ אל משה ואל אהרן יען לא האמנתם בי להקדישני לעיני בני ישראל לכן לא תביאו את הקהל הזה אל הארץ אשר נתתי להם

משה and אהרן are taken to task for failing to sanctify G-d in the midst of the Jewish nation and are therefore denied the privilege of leading them into the Promised Land.

The פסוק is rather cryptic both in its wording of the incident with the rock  at מי מריבה, and in what precisely the sin of משה and אהרן entailed. The commentators discuss this issue at length and the אור החיים alone explores no less than ten varying possible explanations as to what exactly transpired at מי מריבה.

רש”י explains that משה was commanded to speak to the rock and thereby release water for the Jewish people to drink. Yet משה deviated and struck the rock with his staff instead of speaking to it. This was because the rock did not react after being spoken to, as it was the wrong rock. משה figured that perhaps he should hit the rock first in order to achieve the desired effect as was the case with the rock in פרשת בשלח. If only משה had spoken to the rock as instructed, the people would have said, “If a rock which does not speak nor hear and does not need sustenance, yet still dutifully fulfills the command of G-d, we certainly should do likewise.” This potential response would have caused a קידוש ה’.

רמב”ן takes issue with the approach of רש”י on several fronts:

ה’ commanded משה to take the staff in his hand first and then to approach the rock. The implication is that he should, in fact, hit the rock. For if he was to merely speak to the rock to release water, what role would the staff play other than to be used to hit the rock?

Furthermore, the fact that sufficient water for an entire nation could be released from the rock is a tremendous miracle in and of itself. The act of striking the rock does not detract from the miraculous nature of water being produced from an inanimate object, let alone in such a large quantity so as to provide water for a nation of millions of people . Accordingly, the קידוש ה’ of such a supernatural event is the same regardless of the method of communication with the rock.

Additionally, the Pasuk in דברים פרק ל”ו פסוק נ”א  refers to the incident at מי מריבה with  ”אשר מעלתם בי”. Why should משה hitting the rock be called an act of מעילה (which is deriving personal benefit from הקדש?)

Thus, רמב”ן (as well as רבינו חננאל and the רא”ש) explain that the wrongdoing of משה and אהרן was not in the action of striking the rock, but in their choice of words,  ”המן הסלע הזה נוציא לכם מים”. “From this rock will we produce water”?! They should have said “יוציא” “He” – that ה’ will produce the water. This incorrect wording could possibly have lent credence to the false notion that משה and אהרן were the ones who produced the water from the work, and not just ה’. That perhaps it was something of a team effort.  Hence, the קידוש ה’ was lacking. This is also why it was called מעילה since they derived personal benefit from an act of G-d by seemingly crediting themselves with the miracle instead of completely crediting G-d with it.

The רמב”ם in שמונה פרקים פרק ד’ offers yet another explanation that the sin of משה was that he acted with anger when he said to the Jewish nation “שמעו נא המורים” (Listen here rebels.) This caused a חילול ה’ since משה was the chosen emissary of G-d, and the people thought that G-d was angry with them as well, which was not the case.

In light of the attacks which the רמב”ן lodges at the approach of רש”י, perhaps we could have a better understanding of רש”י with the words of the כלי יקר:

The כלי יקר explains that the staff under discussion here that משה was to hold in his hand while speaking to the rock was actually the staff of אהרן. The staff of אהרן was dry wood which contained no moist nor water whatsoever, and yet  still  had sprouted flowers and almonds, which is impossible without water. This occurred because ה’ performed a miracle causing the staff to produce water which in turn produced the flowers and the almonds. Thus, משה was to display the staff to the Jewish people in order to demonstrate that just as ה’ can produce water from a staff, so can He produce water from a stone. Furthermore, whereas משה is commanded to speak to the rock the פסוק does not  inform us  at all of  what he is supposed to say to the rock. But on a closer look, the פסוק states “ודברתם אל הסלע ונתן מימיו”. The basic meaning is that “You should speak to the rock, and then it will give water.” However, the כלי יקר explains that these two words “ונתן מימיו” were the actual words that he was  to say to the rock. Meaning, he should say to the rock, “Just as the staff produced water by the command of G-d, so too should you (the rock) produce water by the command of G-d.”

This is alluded to by virtue of the fact that the גימטריא (numerical equivalent) of  סלע  (rock) = 170 which   is the same as that of עץ (staff). The rock was supposed  to learn from the staff to produce water by G-d’s command. משה however,then proceeded to strike the rock not with the staff of אהרן but with his own staff. This was a great sin due to the history of the staff’s involvement in many of the miracles. Some would scorn that the miracles were performed by the staff of משה with the powers of witchcraft contained inside that staff. Now that water was produced from the rock only after being struck by the same staff of משה  ,the misconception that the miracles were all performed with witchcraft of his staff was further intensified. This caused a חילול ה’ as it reopened the possibility for the scorners to credit the staff for all of the miracles instead of ה’ who really performed them.

The כלי יקר concludes that there is a deeper lesson  hinted to us as well. Earlier in פרשת בשלח, ה’ commanded משה to strike the rock to produce the water, and later on in פרשת חקת not to strike, but to speak to the rock to produce water. At the first time, the Jewish nation had just previously left Egypt and was yet young. Now in פרשת חקת the Jewish nation  was older, had experienced matan torah, and was more developed. This teaches us that when a child is young, corporal punishment can be effective and helpful in the child’s development. However, once the child matures into adolescence, only verbal rebuke is the proper חינוך.

Furthermore, the Jewish nation was to learn from this that they ought to  follow in the ways of ה’ without “corporal punishment”. Meaning, without all of the punishments that were given to them throughout their journey in the desert, they should be able to dutifully follow in the ways of  Hashem without coercion or threats, but out of free will. Since the rock was struck instead of spoken to, this message was prevented from being fully internalized by the Jewish people.

R’ Moshe Feinstein Zt’l in the Darash Moshe adds that there is another lesson hinted to us here as well:

Certainly there is no real difference between hitting the rock or talking to it. The miracle is the same just  like the  רמב”ן explained above. Hence, Moshe was commanded specifically  to speak to the rock even though rocks do not hear or understand. This is to teach us that Torah should be taught even to those who who do not at first  fully grasp it, and  eventually with the accurate  effort and toil, they too will reach the point where they are able to understand it .  R’ Moshe writes furthermore that one should not give up on teaching his children even if it seems at first like they do not understand. Rather, he should teach them repeatedly  until they do understand. Just as the stone did not understand but still fulfilled the command of G-d, so too and certainly to people who do not understand in the beginning but can eventually, with effort, reach the point where they can understand the words of Torah.

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The author can be reached at benradner@gmail.com.

פיה פתחה בחכמה ותורת־חסד על־לשונה.

“She opens her mouth with wisdom; the teaching of kindness is on her tongue.”

This verse contains one of the most clear and eloquent expressions of the greatness of our Jewish women. The Ralbag and Meiri both note the two points being stressed here. The Aishes Chayil teaches her children: (1) the pursuit and love of Chochmah, wisdom and the appreciation of (2) kindness. This refers to a strong foundation in Torah and the encouragement for her family to be educated and well-versed in the wisdom of the world. The greatest wisdom is that of Torah knowledge.

The Aishes Chayil teaches kindness. Chazal (Kiddushin 49b) say that women have a large power of speech. What does the Aishes Chayil channel this power for? She expresses and lives as a  personal example of showing warmth and care for those in need. She teaches her children how to care and think about others and to share chessed with them. Additionally, and even more deeply, the Aishes Chayil shows her children all of the daily opportunities to see the kindness of Hashem in action. A child sees his mother whispering a Tefillah or a Beracha and he asks, “mommy, what are you saying?” She uses that teachable moment to share her inspiration and replies, “I am davening to Hashem and asking Him to give us our needs; I am thanking Him for giving us life and this delicious food.” A child sees his mother lighting Shabbos candles and crying. “Mommy, why are you crying?” “I am davening to Hashem that Tatty should become a great Talmid Chacham and that you my dear child should grow in Torah and Yiras Shamayim and you should always enjoy your learning.”

The Aishes Chayil builds a home where the love of Torah and the passion for life is palpable. There are always challenges and obstacles in everyday living, but the Aishes Chayil exudes an attitude of positive energy, appreciation to Hashem, and an unrelenting emunah that Hashem is the ultimate Provider Whose kindness fills the world.

The Ohr HaChaim lists off ten opinions as to what Moshe did wrong. Each one is a most relevant lesson to us both in the classroom, at home, and in our personal relationships.

1- Rashi: “Hashem told Moshe to speak to the rock, but he hit it.” We must always bear in mind that properly speaking to someone will accomplish more than physical contact.

2- Ibn Ezra: “Moshe did not have the right concentration when he hit the rock because he was distracted by the nation’s bickering and complaining that they were thirsty.” An educator must always remain calm and focused. No actions should be taken from a place of confusion. If the educator is frazzled, it is better not to act at all and wait until one calms down.

3- Ibn Ezra: “He was only supposed to hit the rock once, because that constituted speaking to it, but he hit it twice.” Sometimes a “potch” may be necessary, but it must be exact. Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe zt”l says from his Rebbe, Rabbi Elya Lopian zt”l, that hitting a child is not a punishment of pain, but rather it is a light tap of love that expresses that the parent expects more from the child and the present behavior is not acceptable.

4- Ibn Ezra: “the Jews should have sung a song of thanks to Hashem.” Our Chinuch revolves around teaching our children to praise Hashem and to recognize His Guiding Hand and Eternal Kindness.

5- Ibn Ezra: “Moshe called the Jews ‘rebels’”. Educators must be so careful not to label children as failures. A child who is called a name by his Rebbe can be scarred for life. I dealt with the sweetest student who once confided in me that he thought of himself as a liar because that was a name that he was once called by a teacher who had falsely accused him of doing something. It took months for me to show him that he was truly a good person with middos, honesty, and so much to offer.

6- Rambam: “Moshe got angry leading the Jews to think that Hashem was angry at them as well, which was not the case.” This is powerful, as educators, we represent the Torah and Hashem and our children associate the feelings that we produce in them to be emanating from Hashem. This is a sobering wakeup call for how we interact and communicate with them.

7- Rabbeinu Chananel: “Moshe made it sound as if he and Aharon were bringing out the water and not Hashem.” We must educate our children to see the Hand of Hashem in everything.

8-R”M Kohen: “Moshe made it sound like it was impossible for Hashem to make water come from the rock.” Hashem is all capable and can do anything.

9- R”Y Albo (Ikrim): “Moshe and Aharon should have brought the Jews water before they even had to complain that they lacked it. And when the Jews did complain this showed their lack of Bitachon in Hashem.” The educator must be in tune with the needs of the students and he must instill in them a deep belief in Hashem.

10- Maaseh Hashem: The Jews and Moshe were arguing and Moshe threw his stick onto the rock in anger.” There is no room for anger in an educational setting, ever. I always tell my students, “you can get angry, or you can solve the problem, but you can’t do both.” If someone feels angry, that is okay, but there is never a time to express anger. It is fire that destroys relationships.

Once again, it must be stressed that Moshe is called by the dear title of ‘Rabbainu, our teacher’, because he was the master pedagogue of the Jews. The commentators are expressing a sin that Moshe did that was the minutest fraction of the above listed transgressions, and Hashem was extra strict on Moshe. May we learn to be effective, thoughtful, and warm educators who instill Ahavas HaTorah and Yiras Shamayim in our students and families.

One of the things that Korach claimed against Moshe was that he was guilty of stealing his wife. Even at first glance this sounds ludicrous. In order to continue, we will need to have some background knowledge: Moshe was a reincarnation of Hevel and Korach was a reincarnation Kayin. In the incident regarding the two brothers Kayin became jealous of his brothers offering being accepted while his wasn’t. This caused him to kill his sibling in cold blood.

We will not elaborate in depth being that it is beyond the scope of our subject. In order to procreate the world, each of them was born with a twin sister. These two girls went up to heaven. They then came back to earth many years later when Yisro and Pharaoh were walking in the fields of Egypt. After finding them they decided to take them in as their adopted children. Pharaoh named his daughter Basyah, while Yisro named his daughter Tzipporah. Tzipporah was the original wife of Hevel, and later became the wife of Moshe.

Korach claimed that since he as Kayin killed Hevel, he should have to marry his brothers wife through yibum. Therefore he claimed that Tzipporah was really his rightful wife through the Torah. It is quite obvious that if someone murders his brother the wife would not be interested in marriage; and chalitzah would be performed. In addition, the laws of marriage from one life do not apply to reincarnations! This is the extent to where gossip can lead people to.

However, Hashem gives everyone an opportunity to rectify their errors. Kayin was not an exception. The Rambam says in the laws of repentance that in order for a person to fully repent he must be in the same situation he was in when he sinned and overcome it. The reasoning for Kayin’s jealousy stemmed from offerings to Hashem. Korach was envious of Moshe and Aharon that they received priesthood and the right to bring the sacrificial offerings. We see from here that the incidents were related. They also happened to be standing on the same ground as they did in the beginning of time. The Mishnah in Avos lists ten things that were created twighlight erev shabbos. Among them was the mouth of the earth. When Hashem punished Kayin for his sin he said “cursed are you from the earth that opened its mouth to receive the blood of your brother” (Beraishis 4:11).
In our Parsha when Korach is swallowed up, the same terminology is used: “The earth opened its mouth and swallowed them, their houses, and all of their property”(Bamidbar 16:32). Korach failed in his chance to rectify his wrongdoing, and he became punished measure for measure. When Hashem asked Kayin about the sin he committed it says: “What have you done? The blood of your brother is screaming to me from the earth” (Beraishis 4:10). The midrash tells us that until this day you can hear Korach screaming beneath the mouth of the earth “Moshe is truthful, and his Torah is true”. Hashem aligned things to be set up exactly as they were in the beginning granting Kayin an opportunity to repent. When he failed his chance, he was punished with the same treatment he caused his brother. (Based on a shiur from R’ Z. Wallerstein)

The lessons to be learned from here are endless. The damage gossip can lead to is hard to fathom. Slander can damage a person in unimaginable ways. In addition we clearly see the most important lesson of all. Hashem gives us opportunities everyday. We are given the chance to rectify our wrongs, and set things straight. Every encounter should be seen as an opportunity. With the proper outlook we can really achieve true completeness.

Beyond the surface

A deeper look at Shabbos Zemiros:

Shalom Aleichem:  The Anaf Yosef quotes a question asked by the Yavetz: “Why do we say tzeschem leshalom your leaving should be in peace; shouldn’t they stay for the meal and add to their blessing”? He answers the question by saying we are afraid that maybe throughout the length of the meal something might occur that will cause them to leave in anger. Therefore we smartly send them before human error has the opportunity to enrage the heavenly guests.

Another two answers are given:  1) we are taking leave of the weekday angels, and welcoming the angels of shabbos. 2) The atmosphere at the shabbos table is so holy there is no room for angels. Rather Hashem himself manifests his presence among us. It is a special time for our father to spend time with his children. To be continued…….

Food for thought:

“Once the seeds of gossip are planted, there is no telling what will sprout up.”

The answer expresses a most profound idea. Each family has talents and specialties. Parents grant certain natural temperaments and skills based on their creating and investing a part of themselves in their children. It is the power of a family’s vigor and capabilities. Korach utilized his great ancestral power and charisma and used it for the negative to gather followers for his rebellion against Hashem.

What did Korach take? He took his family powers with him. The verse reads, “Korach took, (his power of) Yitzhar, Kehus and Levi. This is why Yaakov wished to be omitted, he did not want Korach to take his sacred investment and use it against Moshe and Hashem.

On the flip side, one has the ability to connect with his family strengths. So much stress is given to the fact that we are descendants of Avraham, Yitzchok and Yaakov and Sarah, Rivka, Rachel and Leah. Their genes are embedded into our psyche and empowers us to become sincere servants of Hashem. We can ask ourselves when will our actions be in line with the goal of our illustrious grandparents who dedicated themselves whole-heartedly to the honor and closeness with Hashem.

עוז והדר לבושה ותשחק ליום אחרון.

“Strength and majesty are her dress; she joyfully laughs about the last day.”

The Midrash (Mishlei 31) states that this verse was embodied by Aharon HaKohen’s wife, the great Elisheva bas Aminadav. She witnessed four great things on one day. Her husband was the Kohen Gadol, her brother was a Nasi, her children were Kohanim and her brother-in-law (Moshe Rabbeinu) was the Jewish King (leader). The Midrash (Vayikah Rabba 20:2; Zevachim 102a) adds another factor, Elisheva was the grandmother of Pinchas who became a Kohen. She had a fulfilling and accomplished life that brought her much joy and nachas.

The Midrash adds the fact that Elisheva also had challenges in life. Her two oldest sons, Nadav and Avihu were punished with death when they brought an uncalled for fire offering before Hashem. Aharon and her worked hard to recognize that Hashem is the One that runs the world and they became great from the pain and challenge.

Chazal learn out an important lesson based on the first time that Elisheva is mentioned in the Torah. It states that Aharon married her and that she was the sister of Nachshon. Chazal (Bava Basra 110a) say that this teaches us that one who wishes to marry should check out the young lady’s family especially her brothers. The Steipler Goan explains that the point here is to check out those that had the most profound influence on the woman. Nowadays, this is not always here own family. Why is this learned from Elisheva, throughout the Torah many people got married and this could have been learned from them?

Elisheva had a beautiful and special life, but at the same time she also had a family tragedy that threatened to destroy their stability and happiness. It was only because of her great foundation in emunah and Avodas Hashem that she and Aharon were able to find the right perspective on their suffering and use the opportunity to draw even closer to Hashem. This is what our verse refers to when it says that the Aishes Chayil laughs on the last day. She knows how to look at life as a time to grow and is confident in her efforts to build a vibrant Jewish home. Elisheva embodied the quintessential wife who worked hard to keep her family happy and strong. She showed them how to live life to its fullest and to focus on the beauty of family and Avodas Hashem.

עוז והדר לבושה ותשחק ליום אחרון.

“Strength and majesty are her dress; she joyfully laughs about the last day.”

This verse seems hard to understand at first. The contrast of nice clothing versus laughing at the day of death is quite disturbing… what is going on here?

The answer is actually quite beautiful….

The first way of dealing with this is to explain that the verse is actually discussing the spiritual attributes that she dons which include her beautiful character traits which she developed by following the Torah (Ralbag). She dons spiritual greatness with an understanding of how precious and special life is.

The Metzudos however translates the opening words to indeed refer to her immaculate and beautiful style of dress. How is the verse to be understood?

The Aishes Chayil works hard and lives a happy and productive life. She lives life with a perspective that she is building her Eternal reward in Olam HaBah every day. She is confident that her choices and actions are proper and she has a sense of satisfaction in her well spent days.

This is a most important and healthy perspective. There are times that we run around from one errand to the next and don’t get a second to catch our breath. One could end the day frustrated feeling that it was filled with only technical pursuits. However, the true servant of Hashem recognizes that s/he spent the day doing exactly what Hashem wanted from him/her and that the runaround was part of his/her journey to build a great and beautiful Olam HaBah. She was using her time exactly as Hashem intended her to; she was doing her exact job. “All of your actions should be L’Shem Shamayim (Avos 2:12),” the entire day was spent doing the will of Hashem. She was honest in business, was taking care of his or her family, doing chessed with her husband and children and there is nothing more meaningful than that.

Chazal compare this world to a wedding (Eruvin 54a). The significance of this is that a wedding has one most important part that makes the entire event. When the Chosson says, “Harei At Mikudeshes Li, you are holy to me…” The lesson is that in this world, we strive to elevate and be MiKadesh the mundane. Whatever we do, we recognize that it is for the sake of bringing out Kiddush Shem Shamayim.

The Aishes Chayil enjoys the process. She recognizes what life is all about and has high goals and aspirations, but at the same time she also understands that Hashem wants her to wear nice clothing that will make her feel beautiful to her and her husband. She elevates every activity to make it eternal. She thus lives a most fulfilling and enjoyable life.

1)     Hashem commanded Moshe to send spies in the first place, the first words of the Parsha say, “Send men to spy out (Viyasuru) the land,” why does Hashem seem to say that He never agreed to send them?

2)     Why are they called Meraglim, the first words of the Parsha command the Jews to send “Yeesurim, spies,” the word Meragel is only introduced in Devarim (1:24) when Moshe describes the fiasco.

3)     What did they do wrong in their report, they simply stated the facts of what they saw. This was their exact job? They reported that the land produced giants and was impenetrable.

The Kli Yakar sheds beautiful light on this entire matter with one answer that resolves and brings together everything. The difference between Yeesurim and Miraglim is the crux of the matter. Yeesurim are spies that seek out the Yeser, benefit and good, of the land that they are exploring. Meraglim are spies that are “Holchei Rachil, tale-bearers, who seek out the negative in everything. The root of the word Meraglim represents an evil gossiper who expresses only negativity and criticism.

So the explanation is:

1)     Hashem  agreed to send Yeesurim, an envoy that would seek out the good and benefit of the land, but they on their own volition became Meraglim, slanderers, this was exactly what they did wrong. Hence, the first command of the Parsha was never fulfilled and their negative envoy represented Klal Yisrael’s own negativity. The night they came back became the most tragic day of Jewish history, Tisha B’Av.

2)     They were told to be Yeesurim and look for the good, but they chose to be Meraglim and focus on the bad.

3)     Their job was to look at the benefits of the land, instead they made a slanderous report against Hashem and disheartened the entire nation. It thus ends up that there were 10 Meraglim who saw the bad and only two Yeesurim (Yehoshua and Kalev) who focused on the positive and were thus rewarded.

In life, we have a choice as to how we look at every situation and every person that we interact with. We can see the positive and uniqueness of people or we can become distracted by the negative. The difference in focus determines how much success and happiness we will experience.

Hashem had already promised to give them the land. There is no need to test G-d. If Hashem promises something, it is in our best interest. Bnei Yisroel had already been informed of the land’s praise. Hashem told Moshe that He is not going to make a decision, rather the choice is theirs.

Once they had made the decision to send out spies, Hashem caused a miracle, to insure their safety. The people of the land were inflicted with plague. The spies were witnesses to countless funerals. When they brought back their report they instilled fear within the people stating that it is a land which consumes its inhabitants (Bamidbar 13:32). They failed to realize that Hashem had orchestrated events in this way to ensure the spies remained undetected. Even though Hashem did not deem it necessary to send out the spies to begin with, he still oversaw their safety, enabling them to be successful in their mission. Their failure to see the positive virtues of the land had a catastrophic effect on the entire generation.

When the people heard the negative reports they started to weep. They disregarded all the previous knowledge they possessed regarding the land. Their tears ran freely, without good reason. Hashem vowed that he would give them something to cry about. That night was the ninth of Av, and in the future would be the date of destruction for both temples. In addition, death was decreed on the generation.

A life lesson we can derive from here can be illustrated though a parable: A little girl was sitting on the floor observing her mother working on a needlepoint. Looking up she found it strange and even a bit ugly to see a series of twists, turns, and knots all bunched up together. She wondered what her mother was doing. Upon completing her project, the mother got up, and showed her daughter a work of art. The girl was astonished when she saw a masterpiece before her eyes.

Everything that happens in our lives, even the seemingly negative is in reality all positive and with our benefit in mind. Although we may not always see the outcome, or understand the reasoning behind day to day events, we must build up the trust and belief that whatever may come our way is truly for the best. Our lives are a tapestry, and Hashem is the artisan.

Beyond the surface

A deeper look at Shabbos Zemiros:

Shalom Aleichem: The tradition to sing “Shalom Aleichem” is based on a  Gemara Shabbos 119b says that on Friday night two angels escort a person from shul to their home. One angel is ‘good’, the other ‘evil’. Upon arrival if they find the candles lit, a set table, and the beds are made all in honor of the holy day; then the ‘good’ angel blesses the home saying: “May it be this way next shabbos as well”. The ‘evil’ angel is then forced to answer amen. If not, then the opposite takes place.  R’ Yaakov Emdan explains this is why we say “Malachei Hashalom” angels of peace. It is our hope that we will receive the blessing of the ‘good’ angel who will bring peace into our homes.   To be continued…….

Food for thought:

“A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity. An optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.”

R’ Dovid Kaplan explains a fundamental lesson in regards to how we should view Torah learning. It is known that R’ Yosi was blind. The difference between someone who is blind and someone who can see is incomparable. However, this vast difference between himself and others was secondary to his view on what affect Torah had on him in his life. In reality what he was saying is that someone who is devoid of Torah is worse off than a blind man. In other words, the person who is blind, and has Torah in his life is better off then someone who has the power of vision, but is lacking in Torah.

It is through the Torah that we are meant to live our lives. Someone who leads his life with the Torah as his guide is truly enlightened.

Did you ever wonder….

R Aharon Kotler zt’l asks: So many things are “Zecher l’yetzias Mitzrayim,” If the point of leaving Egypt was to receive the Torah, why do we remember that and not “Zecher l’ma’amad har Sinai.”

He answers that we need a reminder for something in the past, which isn’t here anymore. However, one can re-experience the giving of the Torah at any time by immersing himself in its study, as the Gemara relates examples of scholars who were surrounded by fire when they learned and it was the holy fire of Sinai. (Succah 28a re: Yonason ben Uziel, Yerushalmi Chagiga 2:1 re: R’ Eliezer and R’ Yehoshua at bris of Elisha ben Avuya.)

We should not only celebrate Shavuos as the day when Torah was given, but as the day we were given the extraordinary gift that we can receive the Torah anew each day.

סדין עשתה ותמכר וחגור נתנה לכנעני.

“She makes a cloak and sells it; she delivers a belt to a merchant.”

The  cloak is a garment that wraps around one’s entire body. It represents the all-encompassing love and devotion that the Aishes Chayil stands for. Her husband and children feel her warm embrace and are inspired and feel secure when they think of her. Additionally, the Malbim points out that instead of the Aishes Chayil keeping the cloak for herself, she seeks a buyer to purchase her handiwork so that she can help support her household. This shows her great dedication and love.

The belt mentioned has two fascinating interpretations. Meiri states that it refers to dealing with the Yetzer Harah, the Evil Inclination, who seeks to destroy a person. A belt represents the idea of limitation and self-control, setting up fences and safeguards in order to steer clear of sin. Rashi states that it refers to the great reward that will be given to one who girds himself to help support the Torah Scholar who toils to understand and live the Torah.

The Midrash (Mishlei 31) states that this verse refers to Tzlafonis the mother of Shimshon who saved the Jewish people. When the angel told Shimshon’s parents that they would have a great child who would save the Jews, he stated that Shimshon was to be a Nazir for his entire life. Tzlafonis spoke up and asked the angel, “please tell us what we can do to raise him in purity and help him reach greatness.” The angel expressed to her the message from Hashem, “you two parents should act as if you are a Nazir right now by staying away from grape products and from becoming impure.” Tzlafonis and her husband took this strict law upon themselves and when Shimshon was born they helped nurture him to greatness. Tzlafonis was a mother with unlimited devotion, she was willing to live life with an unpleasant limitation in order to produce a son who would be great. Her selfless act earned her honorable mention twice in the verses about the Aishes Chayil. She appears here and also in the Letter  Mem alongside BasSheva. I believe that this is to show that even though she was not famous as being a prophetess or any one especially famous like all the other women here, her devotion and commitment to her family deserves the greatest recognition. Imagine how many unsung heroic mothers Klal Yisrael had and has. That is their true greatness and only Mashiach will reveal their love and dedication to all.

Going through all of the themes of the Parsha sheds beautiful insight regarding the importance and approach towards getting closer to Hashem and His Torah. The Parsha begins with the word, “Beha’aloscha, when you go up,” this is the theme of the entire Torah, personal growth and development. Life is seen as a great opportunity for upward growth and working towards becoming a self-motivated and high integrity person.

The Parsha begins by discussing the Menorah. My dear Rebbe, Rabbi Asher Zelig Rubenstein shlit”a always quotes Rashi who explains how Aharon lit the Menorah in the Mishkan. Aharon was to hold the flame onto the wick until the wick itself became aflame and was able to draw oil and stay lit on its own. This represents the two vital stages of learning Torah. First, we strive to connect to our Rebbe who teaches us Torah knowledge and skills, this is akin to Aharon HaKohen’s flame. The next stage is to take in the lessons and become a flame on our own, with our personal development and strengths. This is what brings light to the world.

The Leviim are singled out in our Parsha and given great honor. This teaches us that those that uphold and represent the Torah will be given great recognition and honor for their dedication. Torah brings greatness to all who embrace its study. On Shavuos one should understand that with a commitment and diligence, Torah knowledge and success can be ours!

Next comes the topic of Pesach Shaini, the make-up Pesach for those that missed it the first time around. The lesson is that it is never too late to connect to Hashem. Even if one was unclean or too distant in the past, the Torah teaches that one can always come back and connect with Hashem. There is one condition though to this and that is: “Lamah nigarah, why should we lose out and be inferior?!” The men that were unclean and far away asked for another chance with a clear expression of their interest and passion to get closer to Hashem. It is never too late to start for one who is passionate and excited to connect with Hashem.

The next topic is that of the Clouds of Glory and Fire that protected and guided the Jews in the desert. The beauty of the Torah is that when one listens to its message, we allow Hashem to guide our lives. Hashem is our great Father who loves and cares for us and only wants to see us succeed. Hashem wants to take care of us and He gave us the Torah with clear instructions that state: “for best results in life, use as follows…” This is what the actual word Torah means, “Moreh Derech, guide for life.”

Next, Hashem taught the Jews the lesson regarding the Misonanim, the complainers. If one is focused on negativity, he or she will indeed be very miserable. Only one who is happy with his lot and appreciates the bounty that Hashem gives him will be happy.

In the end of the Parsha, Hashem tells Moshe to appoint 70 Elders to help lead the Jews. This is to show that we always need elders to turn to for advice and guidance and Hashem wants us to turn to Daas Torah in order to learn how to live life.

Finally, the Parsha ends with Moshe’s passionate plea for his sister Miriam to be healed and the Nation waiting seven days until she recovered. This signifies the great love and respect that one must have towards his fellow brothers and sisters. The Torah only rests on one who has Derech Eretz and compassion towards others.

There are so many lessons found in the Parsha that relate to Shavuos. May we merit a sweet and inspirational Yom Tov filled with growth in Torah and connection to our family and friends.

Rabbi of Belmont United Synagogue, London, U.K. 

As we approach the anniversary of one of the most epic historical periods of our nation, I am reminded of a….  Mother-in-law joke:

What do you do if you miss your Mother-in-law?

 Reload and shoot again.

Let me explain why a coarse piece of humour is on my mind as we approach Shavuos, our re-enactment of receiving the Torah at Sinai.

When it comes to Jewish-American sports heroes, the famous Baseball Pitcher Sandy Koufax comes to mind. In his famous act of loyalty to his roots, on October 6^th 1965, during the first game of the World Series, the Dodgers versus the Twins, Sandy refused to pitch (that is throw the ball at a guy with a wooden bat, for all those unfamiliar with the sport), for it was Yom Kippur day.

In this selfless act of commitment, Sandy became a Jewish-American icon, a model for generations to come; for Jewish men and women to make their own sacrifices by putting their Judaism before themselves.

Imagine you were in the same Shul as Sandy during that Yom Kippur service. Obviously, the Rabbi would have made an honourable mention during his sermon of Sandy’s self-sacrifice. I can imagine it would not have gone something like this: “Sandy, I would like to publicly applaud you on your dedication to your ageing mother, you have gone out of your way to escort her to Synagogue today and you have doted over her throughout this service. Oh, in addition, I think it’s great that you didn’t play baseball today, possibly forfeiting your entire professional career.”

Why am I convinced that the Rabbi did not mention the devotion Sandy had for his mother? Although, of course, it is laudable to treat one’s parent with care, still, relative to such a massive act of sacrifice, it just doesn’t seem to register.

Yet, we see in Megillas Ruth, which we will be reading over Shavuot, a fascinating thing. Boaz, a Jewish aristocrat, who marries Ruth the convert, explains what exactly attracted him to her: “I’ve been told all about what you have done for your mother-in-law since the death of your husband—how you left your father and mother and your homeland and came to live with a people you did not know before.” (Ruth 2:11)

We must analyze this verse. First Boaz comments how Ruth helped take care of Naomi, her Mother-in-law, after the passing of Naomi’s son, Ruth’s husband. This is very nice indeed. However, only afterward does Boaz even mention Ruth’s supreme accomplishment of leaving her house of royalty in Moab, becoming a peasant, and following the religion of her heart. How can we give centre stage to kindness to one’s Mother-in-law in contrast to Ruth’s famous conversion? Perhaps this is why the above mentioned Mother-in-law joke came to mind.

I think we can offer something a little more substantial. The Targum Yonason ben Uziel, an early commentary on the Torah, explains as follows: Boaz was not just describing his personal admiration for Ruth, rather he was explaining Ruth’s merit to be the mother of the Davidic dynasty; the Birth-mother of Moshiach. True, the ability to sacrifice one’s self for what is right is an outstanding virtue, perhaps integral for royalty. However, simple personal care is the cornerstone of Judaism. The Talmud tells us that there are certain attributes which characterize and exemplify the characteristics of a Jew, the finale of which is our Chessed. Ruth deserved to be the Mother of royalty not just due to her spiritual devotion, but rather because of her kindness.

As we approach our own special re-acceptance of the Torah on Shavuot, we need to decide how much of a role caring and kindness plays in our own lives. When we are shooting for the stars in terms of spirituality, our relationship with our fellow man is paramount to get us there.

Perhaps the Rabbi did mention Sandy’s kindness to his mother during the sermon, or at least he definitely should have.

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 Rabbi Elchonon Feldman has over 15 years experience at high level Yeshivos as both student and teacher, where he gained the relevant Torah fundamentals and skills to lead and teach a congregation. This is complemented by a degree in Liberal Arts and a councellor’s license. He received semicha last year and recently completed a two year rabbinic training program at the Ohr Lagolah Leadership Institute. He is a talmid of mine, as well as the newly appointed rabbi of  Belmont United Synagogue in London, U.K. He can be reached at  rebelchb@gmail.com.