Tisha B’av- The Power of Tears
The night of Tisha B’av was enacted to be a night of crying. After the meraglim returned from the land of Israel and spoke lashom hora about the land, the Pasuk states, “The nation cried that night”. That night was Tisha B’Av.
Consequently, the night of Tisha B’av was designated to be a night of crying, as the Gemara, Mesechta Taanins 29a says that G-d responded. “They cried for no reason, therefore I will turn this into a night of crying for all future generations.”
The Gemara, Mesechta Yoma 9b says that the second Temple was destroyed on Tisha B’av because of baseless hatred (sinas chinam). The basic understanding of baseless hatred is unwarranted hatred that people felt towards their fellow Jews.
The Maharsha there references the story of Kamtza and Bar Kamtza as an example of baseless hatred that caused the destruction of the Temple.
Additionally, the Chofetz Chaim, in his introduction to the Sefer Shemiras Halashon, writes that although the Gemara faults baseless hatred amongst the people for the Churban, the catalyst for it was actually the lashon hora in addition to baseless hatred. If not for lashon hora, the natural outgrowth of sinas chinam, the Churban would not have come about.
The Gemara, Mesechta Sotah 35a tells that because the meraglim spoke lashon hora, therefore they were killed out with the horrible disease of Askara, a disease which affects primarily the throat, midah keneged midah for lashon hora spoken with the mouth.
More so,the Chasam Sofer, Parshas Shelach, d.h. amru chazal traces the roots of the lashon hora of the meraglim as follows:
Chazal say, “Al ma avda haaretz al shelo birchu batorah techila.” -”Why was Eretz Yisroel destroyed? Because they did not make birchas hatorah before they learned.” Although generally one does not make a bracha on a mitzvah unless he will complete doing the mitzvah afterwards, and one’s learning is not complete until he puts it into action fulfilling what he has learned, still a bracha is made before he learns. This is because it is inevitable that one will sin with avak lashon hora, if not outright loshon hora, at some point during the day. Therefore, one makes a bracha before learning as a birchas hodaah, a token of gratitude to Hashem for giving us the Torah which is our only antidote against the evil inclination of lashon hora.
So according to the Chasam Sofer, birchas hatorah is not a birchas hamitzvah rather a birchas hodaah. If they would have appreciated that the Torah is the only antidote to lashon hora and would have made a birchas hatorah, they would not have ended up speaking lashon hora about the land, Tisha B’av would never have been enacted as a day of tears, and the land would not have been destroyed. It was because they did not believe that the Torah was an antidote to lashon hora that they did eventually fall prey to the yetzer hora of lashon hora and spoke evil about the land. Furthermore, Chazal say that lashon hora kills 3 people: The one who speaks it, the one who hears it, and the one who it is spoken about. This is exactly what transpired in the incident with the meraglim. The meraglim who spoke it got killed, the people who heard it were killed throughout the ensuing 40 years in the desert, and the land of Israel which it was spoken about was destroyed as the Pasuk says in Parshas Nitzavim, ‘29,’22 , “Gafris vamelach seraifa kol artza”.
However, the Maharsha, Mesechta Taanis 29a offers an alternative explanation to the one he gives in Yoma 9b:
The baseless hatred under discussion was hatred that the people had towards G-d Almighty, chas vechalila. When Moshe Rabeinu was giving rebuke to the Jewish people in Parshas Devarim, it is brought that the people had said, “Since G-d hated us therefore He took us out of Egypt”.
When the meraglim gave their negative report about the land of Israel, some of the people scorned that it was because G-d hated them that He took them out of Egypt, in order to kill them out in the desert. They felt this way because of the general rule that one automatically assumes that the feelings that he has towards his neighbor are the same feelings that his neighbor has towards him. Since they felt hatred towards G-d Almighty, they complained that G-d had hatred for them as well. Moshe then rebuked them that it was of course out of love that G-d took them out of Egypt and that their hatred was indeed baseless.
The Maharsha explains that this baseless hatred is alluded to by the terminology of “crying for no reason.” Since they had hatred for no reason, therefore they cried for no reason.
Chazal in many places tell of the tremendous effect that tears can have, both positively and negatively
The Gemara, Mesechta Bava Metzia 59a tells that one should always be careful to refrain from talking to his wife in a manner that will cause her pain, for since she is more prone to tears the punishment for such is swifter to come.
The Gemara then continues, “From the day the Temple was destroyed, the gates of prayers were locked, but the gates of tears were never locked.”
The flow of the Gemara seems quite clear to be that tears are a double edged sword. On the one hand, one who causes someone else pain to the point of bringing them to tears can have quite a detrimental and negative effect, invoking the midas hadin against him.
On the other hand, one who sheds tears while praying can invoke the midas harachamim much more so than with just prayer alone.
In fact the Maharam Shif there writes based on this that he is somewhat puzzled by why we say in davening, “Machnisei dimah hachnisu dimoseinu”.- “Angels of tears bring in our tears”. After all, tears are so powerful and are granted immediate access to Heaven, we should not need to ask the Angels to bring our tears in to G-d.
The power that tears can have is further illustrated in the Gemara, Mesechta Kesubos 62b which relates the incident in which Rav Rechumei would learn in the Yeshiva of Rava the whole year and would leave to visit home once a year on Erev Yom Kippur. One year he became so involved in his learning that he delayed in coming home. His wife was anxiously awaiting his once-yearly visit and when he did not come at the expected time, she shed one tear. As a result, the attic in which Rav Rechumei was sitting at the time, collapsed and Rav Rechumei died instantly.
Now, surely Rav Rechumei’s wife did not want him to die and will be much more hurt that her husband was taken away from her altogether.
R’ Chaim Shmulevitz, Sefer Sichos Mussar, Maamar Zechiras Miryam explains that nevertheless such is the power of tears. When one causes another person pain to the point of tears, it is likened to a fire which burns on contact, regardless of what the intent was. Just as a fire burns on contact, whether it was started intentionally or not, so too causing another person pain to the point of tears can invoke an immediate and harsh response from Heaven, even if done unintentionally, Rachmana litzlan.
We also find that as soon as Miriam heard Moshe crying as a baby in the Nile River, she was immediately filled with compassion and came to his aid.
The Pasuk, Parshas Shemos, ‘2, ‘6, says “Vehinei naar boche vatachmol olav”. “Behold the child was crying and she had pity on him”.
The Zohar says that this terminology alludes to our concept that crying is very powerful and can achieve results much more effectively than prayer without tears. Based on this the AriZal advised that one should do his utmost to shed tears during the closing prayer of Neilah on Yom Kippur, since tears are so very powerful and G-d will certainly not ignore them.
TheYalkut Me’am Loez, Parshas Toldos, ‘27, ‘38 brings from the Zohar that in the merit of the tears that Eisav cried while he was asking Yitzchok Avinu for a bracha, the Jewish nation has been under Eisav’s rule for so long. And they will remain under his control until they do Teshuva likewise with tears, invoking G-d’s compassion.
Not only that, but the Medrash, Tehilim ‘137 says that when Yirmiyahu was being separated from the Jewish nation right after the Churban, they began crying that they wanted him to stay with them. Yirmiyahu responded that if they would have cried even one time before the Churban, back when he was imploring them to do Teshuva, they would not have gone into exile. Such is the power of crying.
We see from Leah as well the power of davening with tears. The Pasuk says “The eyes of Leah were weak from crying”. And Rashi explains that this was so because Rochel was originally supposed to marry Yaakov and Leah was supposed to marry Eisav.
The Gemara, Mesechta Bava Basra 123a relates that we see from here how powerfully effective davening with tears can be. Through crying, Leah altered the gezaira of bas ploni leploni, i.e. who she was to marry. Not only that, but she married Yaakov even before his original bas zivug Rochel did. Not only that, but really Rochel’s son Yosef was supposed to be the firstborn of Yaakov. Instead, Leah bore Reuven first, making her son the firstborn of Yaakov.
This was all and only through the power of prayer accompanied with tears.
The Gemara, Mesechta Bava Basra 60b tells us, “Kol hamisabel al Yerusholayim zoche vi’roeh besimchasa”.
“Anyone who mourns over Yerusholayim becomes worthy and sees in its happiness”.
The obvious question raised by many of the commentators is why does it say zoche vi’roeh, which is in the present tense?
Shouldn’t it say yizkeh viyireh which denotes the future? Shouldn’t the proper terminology be that anyone who mourns over Yerusholayim will eventually be worthy to see its rebuilding when that happens?
The Sefer Kehilas Yitzchok Al HaTorah, Parshas Devarim brings down an answer to this question in the name of Reb Chaim of Volozin.
We know from the Gemara, Pesachim 54b that when one suffers the loss of a loved one, the pain of such is eventually forgotten and he moves on. This is a great kindness from G-d for otherwise people would not be able to function if they would always have the vivid and painful memory of losing a loved one distinctly on their minds.
Rashi, Parshas Vayeishev ‘37, ‘35 d.h. vayimoain lehisnacheim brings from the Medrash that this is true only for a loved one who has actually passed on. But for a loved one who is only thought to be dead but actually still alive, he/she is not forgotten.
This is why Yaakov Avinu could not be comforted over Yosef since Yosef was actually alive and only thought to be dead.
Accordingly, one who mourns over Yerusholayim shows that for him Yerusholayim is still alive, similar to Yosef who was not dead but just temporarily missing. Hence, one who mourns over Yerusholayim sees immediately that Yerusholayim is not dead, and experiences the joy of realizing that Yerusholayim is still alive. This is why the pain of the Churban is still alive today and has not been forgotten, because Yerusholayim is still alive. This alone serves as a source of comfort to those who mourn over Yerusholayim. Hence, the Gemara teaches us this idea by putting this passage in the present tense.
This is in addition to the literal meaning of the Gemara that one who mourns over Yerusholayim will eventually join in the celebration of its rebuilding when that happens.
We also find this concept discussed in the Rema, Sefer Toras Ha’ola brought in the Tallelei Oros on Megilas Eicha, Page 47 as well where the following episode is recorded:
It once happened that Plato the Great Philosopher came together with Nevuchadnetzar to Yerusholayim after the Churban. They entered the Har Habayis and found Yirmiyahu Hanavi weeping bitterly.
Plato addressed Yirmiyahu, questioning his weeping twofold:
- You the wise one among your people, why do you cry over the destruction of mere wood and stones?
- The destruction has already happened and is in the past. It is not befitting for a wise person to cry over the past, what’s done is done!
Yirmiyahu responded to Plato as follows: As a philosopher you must have many questions in the field of philosophy that remain unanswered. Plato agreed that he in fact has many questions that are unanswered and doubts that anyone in the world can answer them. Yirmiyahu then told him to go ahead and ask him his questions in philosophy and that he will clarify them. Plato then went ahead and posed his questions. Yirmiyahu, obviously well-educated in philosophy, answered every single one of his questions with no trouble at all, clarifying all of his doubts. Plato, astounded by the sheer brilliance of Yirmiyahu exclaimed, “How could a mere human being possess such astounding wisdom”? Yirmiyahu responded,” All of the wisdom that you heard from me I drew from these stones and wood chips of the Temple.
However to the second question that you asked me about why I cry over the past, this I cannot explain to you as you will not be able to comprehend the answer”.
This is where the story concludes.
The Alter of Kelm explains that the answer to the 2nd question is simply with the afore-mentioned concept that we are not crying over the past but actually on the present and on the future. The gates of tears were never locked, and through mourning and crying over the Churban we show that Yerusholayim is still alive, in addition to the fact that if we cry over the Churban we will eventually be zoche to see the rebuilding of the Bais Hamikdosh.
However a goy is incapable of comprehending this idea and therefore Yirmiyahu did not relate it to Plato.
Rav Dessler explains this passage of kol hamisabel in the Gemara a bit differently:
The Michtav Me’eliyahu Volume 2, Page 47 explains that on Tisha B’av we are supposed to be in pain over the galus of the shechina. One who is able to feel this pain to the point that it brings him to tears and is pained that because of the Churban he cannot be connected to G-d the way he should be, has already reached a high madreiga and that alone is a cause for comfort. Just being able to realize that one is missing out on something to the point of tears is a relief in and of itself, and a source of comfort. This is also the purpose of having a designated time for crying as a bechiyah ledoros. Although the basic understanding of bechiyah ledoros is that it is a punishment, it is also meant to be a way for all generations to realize that they are spiritually lacking because of the Churban, and thereby bringing them closer to the Geula. This is why this lesson is mentioned by the Gemara in the present tense.
Just realizing that one has what to mourn over is a source of comfort, and opens the gates to the final Geula.
(Perhaps according to what we mentioned earlier from the Yalkut regarding the tears that Eisav shed when asking Yitzchok for a bracha, we can suggest another explanation for why one who is misabel sees, in the present tense, the nechama of Yerusholayim immediately. For one who cries tears over the Churban on Tisha B’av combats the tears of Eisav and brings us that much closer to being redeemed from his rule, to the final Geula Shelaima, bemhaira.)
May we all be worthy to see the kiyum of vekara olai moed, when Tisha B’av will be turned from a day of mourning into a day of rejoicing, bekarov beyameinu Amein.
Wishing everyone an easy and meaningful fast.
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This week’s edition is dedicated as a zechus for Shira Yaffa bas Rochel Miriam, Ezriel Pinchos ben Shira Yaffa, Aliza Faygil bas Shira Yaffa, and Shlomo Yakir ben Shira Yaffa. May they be zoche to a yeshua bekarov. Amen.
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A Guten Shabbos!
Rabbi Binyomin Radner, writes a weekly Parsha Publication.
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