Close To Torah

It was a security question that would linger in my mind for years to come… While checking in for my first ever El Al flight to Israel, I answered all of the typical security probes. Next came the bonus round. I later found out that El Al was famous     for their Jewish culture questions which they apparently developed for added security purposes.

“Why do you sing Aishes Chayil on Friday night?” the Israeli security officer asked. I’m a Yeshiva guy, I thought, how am I supposed to know this?! Well, I had to come up with something in order to proceed to my gate and so I responded: “I sing it for my mother!” There, now that should prove that I’m not a terrorist! As I walked through customs, the question lingered in my mind; it bothered me that I had nothing intelligent to say and so I made a note-to-self: look into Aishes Chayil. Well, here is what I came up with….

I am so excited about this new series, there is so much beauty and wisdom expressed in King Solomon’s words. Aishes Chayil is a sacred poem that sings the praises of the often unsung heroes of the Jewish nation. Please join me as we strive to uncover and develop the lessons which will inspire us as men, woman and members of the Jewish nation! As you shall soon see, this is a series written for everyone! Sometimes I will express direct applications of ideas and other times I will leave it up to you to determine the meaning that can be applied to your life.

As far as format, I hope to cover one verse per every two to four posts. But to begin I feel that it is important to present a few introductions that will cover some vital underlining themes.

So, why do we sing Aishes Chayil on Friday night?

The simplest answer (sorry El Al, you now have to change your security question) is to show gratitude to the woman of the house who lead the preparations for Shabbos. She is likely tired and over-worked and deserves our sincere thanks!

Rabbi Eliyahu Lopian zt”l (1872-1970) recounted a great mystery which he set out to solve. When he first came to learn under the Alter of Kelm, Rabbi Simcha Zissel Ziv Broida zt”l (1824-98), he was in awe of the Alter’s wife. Rebbetzin Chaya Leah appeared to be a superwoman! She cooked, cleaned, cared for her three children and at the same time was dedicated to every need of the Yeshiva as well. How did she do so much and maintain her enthusiasm and vigor?!

This enigma was solved the first time that young Eliyahu was invited for a Shabbos meal. When they entered the house after Shul on Friday night, the Alter gave his wife a magnificently warm greeting and enumerated to her all of the appreciation he had for her hard work to organize, cook and care for the family’s needs. She was beaming. After making Kiddish and HaMotzie, the Alter smiled at the Rebbetzin and told her that her Challah was the sweetest and most delicious that he had ever tasted. The pride and joy found on the Rebbetzin’s face explained everything to Rabbi Lopian. When someone feels truly appreciated, recognized and validated, they experience a magical surge of energy that inspires them to continue their great accomplishments. That joy and fulfillment is truly powerful.

So why do you sing Aishes Chayil on Friday night?!

Korach, as we all know, was angry and jealous of Moshe. Gathering a large group of followers, he began to argue with Moshe Rabbenu. Even though he came to accuse Moshe and to make a rebellion, he started it off as a mere complaint. The passuk tells us his line of reasoning. “For everyone in this nation is holy, and Hashem rests here. Why should you carry the congregation of Hashem?”

Yehonasan ben Uziel makes an interesting comment on translating the words “Kulam Kedoshim Heim – they are all holy”. Says Yehonasan ben Uziel – “Rav Lachem Rabbanim – We have enough Rabbanim”.

R’ Moshe Feinstein, in his sefer Darash Moshe, brings out this point even further. This is the declaration of people who hate Rabbanim, says R’ Moshe. They can’t live with the fact that the Mesorah is passed down with the Rabbanim and not through their own distorted teachings.

Korach proves this point. Although he seemed to be stressing the uselessness of Rabbanim, which is bad enough, he was really imparting his personal hatred and opposition toward the Chachamim. That is why he asked Moshe about a Tallis that was all blue with Techeiles, and a house that was full of Sefarim. Why should that Tallis need Techeiles, and why should that house need Mezuzos? This was Korach, undermining the whole concept of Chachamim.

This may have been the Dor Hamidbar, continues R’ Moshe. The generation saw  Yetzias Mitzrayim, Krias Yam Suf, and Kabbolas Hatorah, but they still needed Chachamim. Contrary to Korach’s claim, there is nobody too holy for Rabbanim. No matter how blue the Tallis is, no matter how many Seforim are in the house, all the Halachos still apply.

The Gemara (kidushin 66a) brings down a powerful example of what the result of this attitude can amount to. During the time of the second Beis Hamikdash, Yaanai Hamelech was once extremely angry at the Chachamim and was considering killing them all. One of his advisors, Elazar ben Po’ira, whom the gemara describes as a “Leitz, Leiv Ra, Uv’lial” – a mocker, and a evil hearted traitor, told him to go ahead with his plans.

Yannai hesitated. “What will be with the Torah?” he asked.

“Don’t worry” said Elazar ben Po’ira. “We will leave a Sefer Torah on every corner. Whoever wants to come and learn, will learn. There is no need for Chachamim.”

Right then, the gemara tells us, he was labeled a Apikores, a heretic, and he lost his portion in Olam Haba. It was that statement of the uselessness of Rabbanim that sealed his fate.

As the story goes, Yaanai proceeded to kill out all of the Chachamim, besides for his brother in law, Shimon ben Shetach. Shimon ben Shetach was forced on his own to raise a new generation of Chachamim.

This repulsion of Chachamim is traced to Korach, says R’ Moshe Feinstein. It is the aversion of someone who hates, but can’t deny, the concept of Mesorah. Their goal is to undermine Rabbanim as much as possible, even killing them.

A story brought down in Sanhedrin (14a) demonstrates the importance the Chachamim placed in Semicha, which shows what they think of Chachamim in Klal Yisrael. The Romans had decreed that any Rebbe who gives a Talmid Semicha, they will both be killed, that city destroyed, and all the surrounding fields torn apart. R’ Yehuda ben Bava went with five talmidim up into the mountains and gave Semicha to each one. When the word got out and the Romans hunted them down, these five talmidim wanted to try to save their Rebbe, he instructed them to leave him and to run, for his mission was done. When the Romans found him, they stabbed his body over three hundred times. R’ Yehuda ben Bava was one of the Asarah Harugei Malchus, the ten Tana’im who were killed by the roman government that we mention every Yom Kippur and Tisha’a B’av.

These five Tana’im would become some of the greatest of their generation, with the likes of R’ Akiva.

Korach embodied this Middah. “Umaduah Tisna’aseh Al Kehal Hashem – Why should you rule over the nation of Hashem?” He was denouncing the centrality of Chachamim, as was Elazar ben Po’ira. They lost their Olam Haba for this aveirah.

Korach may have been one of the first, but he definitely wasn’t the last. There are people today who dismiss the rulings of Rabbanim, and sometimes even the Rabbanim themselves, because they know better. They have their own Taleisim of Techeiles and (figuratively) houses full of Seforim. They always know better and would have dealt with things their own ways.

This is the attitude of Korach. It took the Olam Haba from Elazar ben Po’irah, and in the fight against it, R’ Yehuda ben Bava gave his life. With the outcome of Korach’s rebellion, we can see where this attitude can lead to, and what can happen to someone who demeans the necessity of Chachamim.

For more information or to experience this for yourself, please contact me via:

http://www.yoseftropper.com/services/life-coach/

The occupation of Professional Coach has grown tremendously over the last few years. More and more people are opting to find and pay for a coach to help them achieve success in their everyday goals, in all fields, including work, family and personal development.

Throughout my involvement in this most uplifting field, I have discovered an interesting phenomenon which I wish to share. Firstly, I wish to define and quantify the role of the coach. Secondly, I wish to discuss the words of Chazal and the rabbinical sources which define and mention “coaching”. I believe that the idea of coaching has in reality been around for thousands of years. I believe that it is endorsed by Chazal and the Rabbinical Leaders throughout the generations.

Part I: Coaching Definition

Coaching is most eloquently described in the words of the authors of a most expert coaching book titled Coactive Coaching. They state that the primary outlook employed by a coach is that “the client is creative, resourceful and whole”. Meaning, it is not the coach who is calling the shots and establishing directives. It is only the coach that stimulates, helps promote self-clarification, expression and accountability to bring the ideas of development to fruition. The authors quip that it is not the coach that is powerful, rather “the coaching relationship is powerful”. Through the client and coach working together, goals are defined and implemented.

Stephen Covey (The 8^th Habit) states that the best managers follow the formula of: “be a light, not a judge. Be a model, not a critic”. I believe that this applies to coaching as well. When you are committed to helping your client discover his own strengths and solutions, you will see tremendous success.

After recognizing that the client has input and solutions ready for self-discovery, the coach’s job is to help extract this. A most effective mode is through powerful questions. Questions such as, “so, what are the options available and which do you prefer?” and “in your optimal world, how would the situation look, now, how can you move toward that outcome?”, stimulate an honest and revealing articulation from any serious client who wishes to help himself.

Many psychological models have stressed the idea of non-didactic help. Perhaps most strongly was Carl R. Rogers in the development of his person-centered therapy. He stressed that only a humanistic approach, one that recognizes that the client deserves “unconditional positive regard”, will yield success. Rogerian therapy celebrates the individual’s strengths, abilities and autonomic decisions in how to proceed in life.

Regarding the power of questions, Jean Piaget espoused the view that the only way to learn new information is through questions and stimulation. He believed that only through cognitive disequilibrium that provokes questions, discussion and investigation will one gain understanding.

Coaching means to me, believing in the client’s ability to find answers and having the skill to stimulate, encourage and help oversee its discovery and implementation.

Part II: Chazal

The verse (Mishley 20:4) states, “Deep counsel is present inside man’s heart, a resourceful person will draw it out”. King Solomon, I believe, is referring to the ability to self-solve problems. This is the founding presumption of an effective coach. We help the client get in touch with their feelings and needs. They have the answers inside, they are encouraged to search out their internal truths.

The Talmud (Yuma 75a) discusses a dispute in how to read the verse (Mishley 12:25), “a worry in the heart of man, yesichena”. One Talmudic sage reads it as, “push the worry out of your mind”, The other reads it as, “tell it over to another person”. The Vilna Goan comments that in truth they are not arguing, rather they are expressing two successive options. When faced with a challenge, first a person may try to deal with it by himself. If this doesn’t work, then he is encouraged to speak it over with someone else. The other person’s listening ear will produce a solution! This is the coaching perspective. Through speaking with the coach, one produces a solution.

The Talmud (Taanis 23a) states, “either give me a partner or give me death”. Humans need someone to talk to and the coach is able to listen, respect and help a person be honest and productive with himself.

When dealing with some of the most important and fundamental concepts of Judaism, we find that Chazal employed the question form. Avos (4:1) states, who is wise? who is rich? who possesses strength? These are from the most primary aspects of life. Chazal felt that the message should be expressed by means of stimulating questions.

Indeed, the entire text of the Talmud is in the most conducive form of understanding: Questions that stimulate the mind and produce understanding. The Talmudic champions are most famous for their “bomb- questions!” This stimulates and builds Talmudic mastery.

As far as the format of the coaching itself, again the Torah proves to be the best source of recommendations in this department. Chazal state that the best way to learn is via questions. When the mind hears questions it is stimulated and the subsequent answers are processed more effectively and powerfully. “The one too embarrassed to ask will not learn” (Pirkey Avos 2:5).

The format of the Pesach Seder reflects this as well. On the night where it is a positive Torah commandment to give over and instill the beauty and truth of the Jewish religion, the format chosen is with great precision. Make the children ask questions! Begin with the most well-known question in the entire world, “Mah Nishtanah, why is this night different than all other nights?” Questions stimulate the mind and penetrate the heart.

Tanach and Chazal express the importance and power of effective questions. This is the benchmark of the successful coach. This is the way to succeed.

Rabbis over the centuries have strived to help people turning to them to learn how to think for themselves and develop and implement solutions.

Part III: Conclusion
In parting, I wish to share with you (with permission from its author) a short excerpt from a very meaningful letter which I recently received from a young man, whom I will refer to as Jack to protect his identity. I have been working with Jack for the past six years. He has struggled to find himself and has been battling depression, a broken home, dysfunctional parents, a challenging drug and alcohol addiction and poor self-esteem. After he had a nervous breakdown last July, he finally agreed to seriously commit himself to join AA and seek psychological help. His heartfelt words express to me how I was able to coach him and help him develop self-esteem. His journey has just begun….

… You have seen me at my best and you have seen and heard me at my worst, and never once did you budge, become disheartened, or stop seeing the bigger picture. I value your friendship almost as much as I value your input wisdom and guidance, which have literally saved my life on numerous occasions….. Your resilience and optimism are a never ending source of pure water (or in my vernacular, the finest scotch Laphroaig 30). Thank you and I owe you a tremendous debt.
Of all my many friends, you are the most vaunted, mainly for your exceptional brain, but what speaks even louder volumes to me is your heart. Part of my motivation, and part of my inspiration to become the best I can be, is because I want my heart to be like yours, caring, unwavering, and most importantly true. Since you met me six years ago, your serenity and comfort of knowing who you really are inspire me almost daily to find my own serenity.

I am Jack, and because of you, will be the best Jack I can be, and hopefully along the way push and inspire people the way you continuously inspire and motivate me. I love myself, but without you there is a good chance that I would not, and it is because of you that I can sing praises and face another day.
May G-d allow me to permeate all of your teachings and insight, so that I can be the man you believe I can be, the man you convince me I will be…

Jack

For more information or to experience this for yourself, please contact me via:

http://www.yoseftropper.com/services/life-coach/

I look forward to speaking with you soon!

As this week is a double Parsha, I proudly present you with two short and sweet thoughts for your reading and spiritual pleasure. As always, I look forward to hearing your feedback!

Wet Paint

“Hashem spoke to Moshe after the death of Aaron’s two sons, when they approached before Hashem and they died.”

Rashi in his commentary explains why did the Torah juxtapose the death of Aaron’s two sons with the commandment restricting Aaron’s entry into the Holy of Holies?

The great Talmudic sage, Rabbi Elazar Ben Azariah answers this question with a striking parable. A sick person once went to see a doctor. The doctor told him, “Don’t eat cold food or sleep in a damp place.” The sick man went to get a second opinion and was told by the new doctor, “Unless you avoid cold food and damp places you will die as so and so died.”

This sick man, writes Rabbi Elazar, was surely affected more from the second doctor’s warning then the first. Why? Because the doctor drove home the consequence and showed him what happened to a friend of his who didn’t heed his instructions.

Thus, in light of the tragedy, Hashem wanted to convey to Aaron the restriction of entering the Holy of Holies. Yes, Aaron could have been told that there was a death penalty should he transgress Hashem’s commandment – however, having just witnessed the divine punishment for the very same sin, such a warning was much stronger.

We can draw a parallel between this thought and wet paint. How many of us have seen a sign which reads, ‘WET PAINT’ and have gone ahead and touched it anyway? Why didn’t we just believe what the sign says and stay clear?

The lesson is clear. We learn more from our mistakes – as well as from the mistakes of others – then from simply being told that something is a given.

People often feel that they can beat the system or be the exception to the rule. It’s only when they witness the consequence or learn of someone else’s failure that they realize their mistake. This is what Rashi is teaching us. Realize what has happened and avoid the wet paint.

The Red Line

“You shall not steal, you shall not deny falsely, and you shall not lie to one another. You shall not swear falsely by my name…”

Rashi sheds insight into the succession we find in the above verse as it goes from theft to denial to lying to false swearing. This order he explains, is how the human mind works. Once a person crosses the line and sadly allows himself to sin – it’s all downhill from there.

First comes the sin itself. The sinner then begins to rationalize the act committed. He then may go as far as denying that it ever took place!

This is why we must be so careful and avoid any misstep in our spiritual lives. As our Sages teach us, “One Mitzvah leads toward another Mitzvah.” So too, when it comes to transgressions, one sin can be the harbinger of another. By exhibiting care and caution, we can avoid the ‘red line’ and prevent ourselves from starting a harmful chain of misdeeds.

With Pesach just around the corner, stop cleaning (momentarily, that is) and download the revised Ohr Somayach Pesach Handbook today.

With inspiring articles, Halacha and Q/A, it will surely enhance your Pesach.

Mothers, it even has an article about cleaning!

To download click here: www.ohr.edu/pesachbook

Best wishes for a Chag Kasher V’Sameach!

ואת יהודה שלח לפניו (מו:כח).

“He (Yaakov) sent Yehuda ahead” (48:28).

When Yaakov finally heard that Yosef was alive and well in Egypt, he desired to move there. He packed up his family and belongings and was ready to go. However, he made one important prerequisite before leaving. He sent Yehuda ahead of everyone to start a Yeshiva, a study hall in which they would be able to learn Torah. Why was this necessary to send ahead for, why couldn’t Yaakov just wait until they arrived in order to establish a Yeshiva?!

The Shlah learns from this a fundamental lesson. Yaakov wanted to make it clear that Torah comes first. Shlah states from here that whenever one embarks upon something new, one should always give precedence and consideration towards our holy and sacred Torah. We strive to establish Torah as our guide and priority. He states that when one is looking at a new house, he should first ask, “where will I learn”, and then decide how the family will be situated. The same would hold true for a new car, computer, pen or bike. One can ask, ‘how will this help me in my spiritual growth’?!

I write this as I sit in my new swivel chair and by my new desk. I want to establish their use for the sake of Torah study! Sure, many other things will be done from this seat and desk, like figuring out my finances and shmoozing on the phone, but the focus and respect for Torah is most important.

This idea is expressed by Sefer HaChinuch as well. He states that the reason why the Torah commands one to give Bikurim, the first of the crops, to Hashem is so that one will put Hashem first and foremost. It is for this reason, he states, that the Bechor, firstborn, is dedicated to Hashem (given to the Kohen). At the beginning of one’s journey, we set the tone for the course to follow. This is why Yaakov wanted a Yeshiva established even BEFORE they got to Egypt.

What remains to explain is, why did Yaakov specifically send Yehuda ahead and not any of his other children? I believe that the answer lies in Yehuda’s two strengths that we find in this Parsha. One is his kingship and the second is his sense of mission and responsibility. Yehuda was the King and leader of the brothers. He stood up before all of them to speak to the powerful viceroy of Pharaoh. The job of the king is to inspire and lead the people in the fear Hashem.

Yehuda was the one who stood up to act and assumed much responsibility throughout Sefer Bereishis. He confessed in the story of Tamar and he took responsibility for Binyamin’s safety, putting his eternity on the line.

These two traits, kingship and responsibility, made Yehuda the perfect candidate to entrust with the mission of establishing Torah as the stronghold of the Jews that would guide them throughout their exile.

I recently read Miracle Ride (Artscroll) – a true story about a sixteen years old high school girl and her battle with cancer. The riveting book which everyone should read, and re-read again is her diary and allows you to join in on her journey as she battles the disease head on and rides its waves.

The following essay – For Everything a Blessing – appears in it and contains a powerful message. I post it in its original context and with my compliments to Google.

Kenneth M.Prager, M.D.

Columbia Presbyterian Medical Center, New York

When I was an elementary school student in yeshiva – a Jewish parochial school with both religious and secular studies – my classmates and I used to find amusing a sign that was posted just outside the bathroom. It was an ancient Jewish blessing, commonly referred to as the asher yatzar benediction, that was supposed to be recited after one relieved oneself. For grade school children, there could be nothing more strange or ridiculous than to link to acts of micturition and defecation with holy words that mentioned God’s name. Blessings were reserved for prayers, for holy days, or for thanking God for food or for some act of deliverance, but surely not for a bodily function that evoked smirks and giggles.

It took me several decades to realize the wisdom that lay behind this blessing that was composed by Abayei, a fourth-century Babylonian rabbi.

Abayei’s blessing is contained in the Talmud, an encyclopedic work of Jewish law and lore that was written over the first five centuries of the common era. The Jewish religion is chock-full of these blessings, orbrachot, as they are called in Hebrew. In fact, an entire tractate of Talmud, 128 pages in length, is devoted to brachot.

On page 120 (Brachot 60b) of the ancient text it is written:

“Abayei said, when one comes out of a privy he should say: Blessed is He who has formed man in wisdom and created in him many orifices and many cavities. It is obvious and known before Your throne of glory that if one of them were to be ruptured or one of them blocked, it would be impossible for a man to survive and stand before You. Blessed are You that heals all flesh and does wonders.”

An observant Jew is supposed to recite this blessing in Hebrew after each visit to the bathroom. We young yeshiva students were reminded of our obligation to recite this prayer by the signs that contained its text that were posted just outside the restroom doors.

It is one thing, however, to post these signs and it is quite another to realistically expect preadolescents to have the maturity to realize the wisdom of and need for reciting a 1600-year-old blessing related to bodily functions.

It was not until my second year of medical school that I first began to understand the appropriateness of this short prayer. Pathophysiology brought home to me the terrible consequences of even minor aberrations in the structure and function of the human body, At the very least, I began to no longer take for granted the normalcy of my trips to the bathroom. Instead, I started to realize how many things had to operate just right for these minor interruptions of my daily routine to run smoothly.

I thought of Abayei and his blessing. I recalled my days at yeshiva and remembered how silly that sign outside the bathroom had seemed. But after seeing patients whose lives revolved around their dialysis machines, and others with colostomies and urinary catheters, I realized how wise the rabbi had been.

And then it happened: I began to recite Abayei’s bracha. At first I had to go back to my siddur, the Jewish prayer book, to get the text right. With repetition – and there were many opportunities for a novice to get to know this blessing well – I could recite it fluently and with sincerity and understanding.

Over the years, reciting the asher yatzar has become for me and opportunity to offer thanks not just for the proper functioning of my excretory organs, but for my overall good health. The text, after all, refers to catastrophic consequences of the rupture or obstruction of any bodily structure, not only those of the urinary or gastrointestinal tract. Could Abayei, for example, have foreseen that “blockage” of the “cavity,” or lumen, of the coronary artery would lead to the commonest cause of death in industrialized countries some 16 centuries later?

I have often wondered if other people also yearn for some way to express gratitude for their good health. Physicians especially, who are exposed daily to the ravages that illness can wreak, must sometimes feel the need to express thanks for being well and thus well-being. Perhaps a generic, nondenominational asher yatzar could be composed for those who want to verbalize their gratitude for being blessed with good health.

There was one unforgettable patient whose story reinforced the truth and beauty of the asher yatzar for me forever. Josh was a 20-year-old student who sustained an unstable fracture of his third and fourth cervical vertebrae in a motor vehicle crash. He nearly died from his injury and required emergency intubation and ventilatory support. He was initially totally quadriplegic but for weak flexion of his right biceps.

A long and difficult period of stabilization and rehabilitation followed. There were promising signs of neurological recovery over the first few months that came suddenly and unexpectedly: movement of a finger here, flexion of a toe there, return of sensation here, adduction of a muscle group there. With incredible courage, hard work, and an excellent physical therapist, Josh improved day by day. In time, and after what seemed like a miracle, he was able to walk slowly with a leg brace and a cane.

But Josh continued to require intermittent catheterization. I know only too well the problems and perils this young man would face for the rest of his life because of a neurogenic bladder. The urologists were very pessimistic about his chances for not requiring catheterization. They had not seen this occur after a spinal cord injury of this severity.

Then the impossible happened. I was there the day Josh no longer required a urinary catheter. I thought of Abayei’s asher yatzar prayer. Pointing out that I could not imagine a more meaningful scenario for its recitation, I suggested to Josh, who was also a yeshiva graduate, that he say the prayer. He agreed. As he recited the ancient bracha, tears welled in my eyes.

Josh is my son.

A Man Who Lived For Others

Before I even write a word, I must preface by stating that I come not to provide any answers or explanations. I am speechless at this tragic news. We can only have answers when Mashiach arrives.

Over the past number of years, I was one of many patients to have been privileged to know Dr. Lesser.

He was a warm and dynamic man, with patients represented by all religious groups of the community. He had remarkable character traits and true sensitivity; you never felt rushed when asking him for advice. He was a true professional, yet always relaxed. It was a pleasure to chat with him as he caught up with your life since the last visit. He was a genuine and sincere person, someone with much understanding and true feeling for life.

I would like to share some memories and sentiments as I struggle to come to grips with his sudden passing.

It is most chilling to me when I think about the very glasses that I presently wear. He determined their prescription; his patience and expert hands arranged them to sit comfortably on my face.

I once asked him if eye doctors could check their own eyes. He responded with a very serious, “no”. “Even if you are the best Optometrist in the world, you still need someone else to examine your own eyes for you”. He then went on to say that he was lucky to have learned this very early in his career after examining an elderly eye Doctor who had spent his life checking his own eyes. Dr. Lesser found him to suffer from some very serious eye problems. Had these issues been caught earlier, they could have been treated. He then went on say that he always tells this advice to eye doctors he speaks with.

This story summarized what Dr. Lesser stood for. He was a thinking person who took to heart the lessons he learned and was always looking to share his experiences to help others.

He was filled with warmth and compassion. I always knew from the way he described his family, that he was a model husband and father. I understood that he had a beautiful and deep relationship with his loving wife and children. I know that they love and appreciated him as well. This thought makes his passing even more painful for me.

Whenever I entered his office, I witnessed how he treated every single customer with the utmost care and respect. Jews and non-Jews flocked to him and received his sweet smile, professional counsel and undivided attention. I once waited impatiently as he explained to an elderly woman the difference between all of the sunglasses in his store and which would be best for her. I was in disbelief as to how calm he remained as he repeated himself to her for the third time. He had one goal, to listen to her and to serve her needs. It was only when he finished with her and went on to help reshape my glasses, repeatedly, with patience and care, that I understood why he gave so much time to all of his customers. He truly loved helping people.

My last interaction with him came at my yearly eye exam at the beginning of last month. He came out to greet me with his usual friendly smile and we began chatting as if we were resuming our last conversation. He told me about where to find the best eye drops and how not to get fooled by advertising ploys. He was very respectful and encouraging of all my new endeavors that I shared with him. He was more than a Doctor, he was a compassionate and loving soul.

Indeed, Dr. Lesser dedicated his life to caring for and helping people to see properly. It is most apropos that his death, which has shook us to the core, has also challenged us to take a good look at life and gain 20/20 vision in realizing what is really most important. Dr. Lesser’s lesson of love and devotion will live on in all of us. He has inspired us with a new look at life.

My prayers and condolences go out to his dear family, friends, and entire community.

Yosef Tropper

This past Friday night I heard a powerful story from Rabbi Moshe Pindrus at Yeshivas Ohr Somayach in Jerusalem. It has a clear and simple message. Let’s internalize this lesson and integrate it into our everyday lives.

Many years ago – as you’ll soon see – a young boy walked into a hotel and sat down in the restaurant. The waitress approached the young boy and brought him a glass of water. She asked him, “What would you like to order?”

“How much does an ice cream sundae cost?” asked the young boy.

“50 cents”, replied the waitress.

The young boy dug deep into his pocket and began to slowly count his change under the table. The waitress began to grow impatient as the restaurant began to slowly fill with patrons. The young boy looked up and asked, “How much does a dish of ice cream cost?”

“35 cents”, replied the waitress.

“Ok”, said the young boy. “I’ll take a dish of chocolate ice cream, please.”

The waitress brought him his dish of ice cream and the boy licked it clean enjoying it very much. He got up and left. The waitress walked toward his table to tidy up and began to cry as she noticed two shiny quarters the boy had left on the table as payment.

He had left a 15 cent tip. He gave up his ice cream sundae for a dish of ice cream so he’d have enough change leftover to tip the waitress.

Throughout our day, we are always encountering people in the office, at school or on our errands. Do we stop and at least offer them our thanks and show our appreciation for all that they have done for us?

Let’s renew our focus on recognizing the good deeds of others and make it a point of saying thank you.

Would we do the same as the young boy? Next time let’s say yes!

No, I don’t have a pet lobster as the title suggests – but there is one important lesson we can learn from this particular creature of Hashem.

Well, we’ll start with a little lesson in lobster anatomy. How does a lobster grow? No, spinach isn’t the answer. This is how it happens. When it outgrows its shell, it retreats back to the safe confines of the rock crevices and sheds its shell. It then grows a new one. This process repeats itself every time it reaches its maximum size.

While it remains behind the rock crevice, it is in great danger. It can fall prey to the strong currents which could toss it against the sharp rocks, or even be eaten by a predator. (Yes, that would be shellfish. No pun intended.)

Thus, in order to grow the lobster must risk its very life! From this, we mortal humans can learn one very important lesson.

In life, we often must take risks. Whether we do so in business or other matters, success doesn’t come without trial and error. At times, a person may be forced to risk his life and try a new medical procedure in an attempt to save their life. A venture capitalist may invest his life savings into what he thinks will be the next ‘big thing’. In life, it’s two steps forward and one step back. We must learn to live with risk as we seek growth and progress in our spiritual and material drives.

How do we apply this? We must begin to take reasonable risks – calculated that is – to propel us from our battles of today to our successes of tomorrow.  Our leaders of the past as well as our leaders of the present have all had to calculate what risks to take.

Two leaders which come to mind are Noah and our matriarch Rachel. Coincidentally, today is when Noah entered the Ark. After seven days, the rains began and lasted forty days and forty nights. Today is also the Yahrtzeit of Rochel Imeinu – our matriarch Rachel. Buried roadside, her gravesite remains a place where Jews of all walks of life flock and cry out, seeking that she intervene in heaven on their behalf.

Noah risked his life constructing the Ark – Hashem’s edifice. Rachel risked – and as a result lost – her life in an attempt to prevent her father’s idol worship. Yet, here we stand today as a result of their risks and their unwavering leadership.

So, next time you see a lobster floating in the tank at the supermarket – remember the important lesson it teaches us. Take risks. Through trial and error, success and failure we grow and progress in our personal and spiritual lives.

Based on an article on Aish.com